The only one who could hurt him now was Kateri, and with her gone, his heart was broken.
I can save her life.
He looked down at the only person who'd ever made him feel welcomed. The only one who'd made him smile while hell rained down on him, and his gut wrenched with grief. He couldn't say no to their offer and they knew it.
How can I be willing to sell my freedom for a woman I just met?
The same way Buffalo had been willing to risk Ren's anger and retaliation by visiting Butterfly during Ren's brief reign. When Ren first discovered what Buffalo was doing, he had been furious. Not because he wanted Butterfly for himself, but because he felt betrayed that Buffalo had feared him so. That his friend had thought so little of him that Buffalo had honestly believed Ren would turn on him and kill him for loving her.
That was what had taught him how ludicrous and unreasoning fear was. Had Ren wanted Butterfly, he'd have taken her once he held Coyote as his prisoner.
Instead, Ren had left her alone. Even though she was beautiful beyond belief and he would have been proud to call her his own, he had envied his brother's happiness that had been bought with Ren's blood and dignity, not his bride. Even then, Ren would never have taken Coyote prisoner had his brother not poisoned him and then tried to cut his throat.
And he wouldn't have tortured Coyote had his brother kept his mouth shut and not insulted him day after day. Ren had gone insane from it all. Between being possessed and the pain of Coyote and his father mocking him, he'd lost it completely. All he'd wanted was for it to cease. For someone, just one person, to look at him like he was human and had feelings. Hell, even when he'd gone to kill his father, the man had laughed at him.
"You're not man enough, dog." And then his father had spat in his face.
When Ren had attacked, his father might have been able to survive had he taken Ren seriously. But he'd mocked him right up to the point Ren had stabbed him.
In all his life, Ren had never felt treasured, not even by Buffalo. Theirs had been a relationship born out of a debt Buffalo thought he owed him and because he felt sorry for Ren. While they had grown close, Buffalo hadn't befriended him because he liked him or because they had anything in common.
Only Kateri had done that. She owed him nothing. Nor did she pity him. She actually liked him as a person and teased him playfully. He could see it every time she looked at him. Every time she touched him.
His eyes watering, he met Windseer's gaze. Save her. Whatever it takes.
Windseer smiled cruelly. We told you you would come back to us one day.
Damn them for being right.
An instant later, Kateri took a deep, ragged breath and opened her eyes.
His heart pounding in gratitude, Ren sank to his knees and pulled her into his arms to hold her as his tears finally fell.
Windseer moved to stand between Cabeza and Jess, neither of whom could see her. Remember your word, Makah'Alay. If you fail us, we won't kill her. Grizzly will take her as his own, and you know what he does to his property. She will be well used.
Ren ignored her as he inhaled the scent of Kateri's skin and felt her warmth against him.
"Anyone else feeling really awkward here?" Sasha asked. "Guys, get a room."
Ren let out a puff of laughter before he pulled back to cup her face in his hands so that he could assure himself she was fine.
She touched the tears on his face. "Did I miss something?"
Sasha snorted. "Nah, nothing too important. Just your death."
"What?" she asked with a stern frown.
Ren nodded. "You died in my arms."
"How?"
"I don't know." But he had a good suspicion it was something Grizzly had caused. Just as he was certain Grizzly was the reason they hadn't been attacked. The bastard had most likely allowed them that time knowing what Ren would do. Knowing what she'd come to mean to him.
First Grizzly had sent Windseer to screw him over and now he'd done it with a woman who had no idea she'd been used as a tool against him.
But that wasn't her fault. He was the moron who couldn't keep his heart and his body separate. He couldn't just screw a woman and walk away. He'd felt too used by the world too many times to give that feeling to someone else.
And now his enemy knew exactly how to cripple him. Grizzly knew his greatest weakness. Kateri.
I am so fucked....
Kateri choked as Ren tightened his hold on her. "Sweetie, I can't breathe. You're killing me."
He loosened his arms, but still kept her pressed up against him as if he was trying to merge their bodies together.
Jess cleared his throat. "Maybe Sasha's right and we ought to leave them alone for a bit."
"Yeah, sure, what the hell?" Urian said snidely. "Not like the fate of the world hangs in the balance or anything important. You two take your time. There's a clump of bushes over there that should give you some privacy."
Ren let go and got up with a look on his face that actually scared her. He leveled a killing glare at Urian. "If anyone should understand me right now, it's you." Bracing his legs into a warrior's stance, he held his hand out to her as Urian looked away bashfully.
Kateri took Ren's hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. She brushed the tears away from his face, amazed that he would allow anyone to witness them. Especially after all the visions she'd had where he went to great pains to make sure no one saw him weak or hurt. She placed a kiss on his cool cheek. "Are you okay?" she whispered in his ear.
The burning sincerity in his gaze pierced her. "I am now." He turned toward the others. "What are you waiting for? Don't we have humanity to save? The Apocalypse waits for no one."
Sasha stroked his chin as they started forward once more. "You know, I have to wonder about that. Does it really wait for no one or do you think it would wait for the four riders? Maybe we ought to have someone kidnap them."
Urian scoffed. "That idea didn't work out so well for Sisyphus. Last I heard, Hades was still making him suffer."
"Good point, and I learned well not to meddle in the affairs of gods, or pick one over another. You get seriously trashed." Sasha started whistling "Heigh-Ho."