Chapter 16
Abigail took a deep breath to quell her rising fears. This was what she'd come here to do. Trade her life for the world.
You can do this.
No, I can't. I can't. I don't want to die. Not now that she had a real reason to live. She wanted to hang on to every heartbeat. Every breath. Because every one of them meant something now in a way they never had before. After a lifetime of waiting for something, anything special, each second with Jess was an extraordinary adventure in discovery ...
Of him.
Most of all, herself. She'd learned about a whole new side of her that she never knew existed. He brought out a sense of wonder and showed her miracles in the smallest things, and she didn't want to leave that. Not so soon.
One more day, please ...
Panic set its steely talons against her courage, and it wouldn't let go of her.
Until she met Jess's dark gaze. That centered and calmed her nerves. Yeah, he looked like a silly kid with his nose packed full of Kleenex. Still, it didn't detract from how gorgeous he was with his dark windswept hair falling gently into his eyes. Those sharp cheekbones and soft lips that she could nibble on until her mouth was numb. From that tough aura of I-am-here-to-kick-your-ass-and-make-it-count.
Only Jess could make Kleenex sexy.
And that brought home one simple truth. I won't die to save the world.
But she would die for him.
He didn't deserve to pay for her stupidity. He'd suffered enough in his life. It was her turn to make a sacrifice. To grow up and face the consequences of her actions. Yes, she'd been lied to, but she'd let them deceive her. There was no one else to blame.
She'd dragged an innocent man into all of this ... True, she'd seen his face that night in her room, but the woman in her now knew the man, and while she had no doubt he could have murdered her father without a second thought, Sundown would never have been able to hurt her mother.
Not like that. And there was absolutely no way he would ever search for a child to kill it. He was lethal, but never intentionally cruel.
Jess was innocent and she most definitely wasn't. She deserved to be punished for what she'd done.
Her entire body quaked from fear, yet she refused to let anyone know that. She wouldn't be a hypocrite. Lifting her chin, she nodded at Choo Co La Tah. "Where do you need me?"
"Follow me, my dear."
She took a step forward.
Jess cut her off. "We don't need to do this. I can fight Coyote. We have the ability to defeat him."
Sasha laughed hysterically. "Are you out of your effing mind? Hello? Where have you been for the last two days? I want whatever screwed-up glasses you're looking through. 'Cause from where I've been standing, we've been getting our asses seriously kicked around the block. Up a few stairs and down again."
Jess let out a sound of supreme exasperation as he cut a killing glare toward the wolf. "We're not dead yet."
"Yet is the operative word. If that's all that's in the way, I'll kill you and end it. Ren? Give me your knife."
Ren shook his head. "It's their decision."
Sasha curled his lip in repugnance. "Oh, that's it. You're fired, buddy. Get off my island until you learn to be a team player."
Abigail ignored his tirade. The only one who had her attention right now was Sundown. "It's okay, Jess. I'm ready."
"I'm not." Those dark eyes scorched her with emotions she couldn't even begin to understand. Was it possible she might mean something to him after all?
Dare she even hope for it?
She walked into his arms and held him close against her, wishing they had one more night together. I would give anything for it.
But it wasn't meant to be. And for that alone, she wanted to weep.
Jess couldn't breathe as he held on to her and pain ripped him apart. Every inch of her body was pressed against his, making him hunger for her in a way he'd never hungered for anything.
How could he lose her now when he'd only just found her? The depth of his feelings for her didn't make any sense. She had knocked him senseless, literally, from the first time he'd laid eyes on her and she kept him off-kilter.
There was no denying the agony that blistered him from the inside out at the thought of not seeing her again. The very concept of losing her staggered him.
He couldn't let go. Not of this.
Not of her.
I'm not strong enough to lose another woman I love. Yeah, he could take a savage beating and not blink. He could walk through hell itself and taunt the devil while Lucifer's demons flogged him every step of the way.
But living without her would break him. As bad as losing Matilda had hurt, this was so much worse. He wouldn't just lose the woman he loved.
He'd lose the only woman who'd ever seen the real him. The only person who knew his true feelings. He'd never been so honest with anyone.
Not even himself.
I can't let you go....
Abigail ran her hands over his muscled back and savored this last connection to the one person she'd waited her entire life to meet.
The man she loved with every part of her.
Squeezing him tight, she forced herself to let go and step back. He stared down at her while she reached into his front pocket and pulled out his watch. Opening it, she stared at the face that had changed him forever. The face that had saved him from himself and given him back his soul.
The woman he'd sold his soul to avenge.
His was the face she would carry in her watch if she had one.
Heartsick and weary, she shut the watch and placed it in his palm, then folded his fingers around it. Lifting his hand to her lips, she inhaled the deep masculine scent of his skin, then kissed his scarred knuckles. A permanent reminder of how difficult his life had been and how hard he'd fought for it. "You will always belong to Matilda, Jess. I understand that now." Just as she understood what Jess had told her about his relationship with her mother.
Being in love was vastly different from loving someone. When you were in love, it consumed you. Devoured you.
And made you deliriously happy.
That was what he did for her.
Take care of our boy, Matilda. I won't fight you for his affections.
She'd been lucky enough just to know him for a short time.
Holding back her tears, she stepped around him and climbed up the dark ground to where Choo Co La Tah waited for her.
Don't look back. Don't torture yourself. But she couldn't help it. She had to see him one last time.
Her throat tight, she turned to find those dark eyes never wavering. The look of tormented pain on his face seared her, and it made her wish she could steal every bad memory from him and replace it with only happiness.
Time seemed suspended as they stared at each other. Even her heart seemed to stop.
"Abigail..." Jess started forward, but Ren stopped him.
"She has to do this alone, penyo."
That familiar tic thumped against his lean jaw. She watched the battle he waged with himself. The indecision he had. Finally, he shoved Ren aside and sprinted up the hill to where she stood.
He took her hand into his and placed his watch in her palm. It was still warm from his touch.
She frowned at him. "What are you doing?"
"I don't want you to be alone anymore." He closed her fingers around the watch and kissed her hand just like she'd kissed his.
Those words and that single action brought her to her knees. They shattered her facade and succeeded in wrenching a sob from her. She understood exactly what he was saying. He was giving her his most prized possession.
He loved her.