“Answer me!” she screams, following me, but I’m out the door with it locked before she makes it to me.
“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!” I hear her yell through the door, but I back away from it.
I find myself back in the same position as I was on day one, except this time, instead of having almost ended my life, she’s turned my world upside down. I’ve never been mixed up this bad in my life. She did it so flawlessly, and I didn’t even know it was happening.
How, though? I knew what I was getting into when she showed up, yet somehow she still managed to play me so smoothly I didn’t realize it was happening. How did I blur the lines between Megan and Alana? Did I separate her body and mind so I’d feel less guilty about still being attracted to her? How did I think that Alana being in Megan’s body somehow made the same person in a sense? I’m not sure where I got crossed up in all of this.
I sit with my head in my hands as she yells in the background, and I play our entire time here back in my head. As soon as I start remembering everything, I realize I didn’t blur the lines one bit. In fact, she made sure I made the two of them distinguishable. All that shit about figuring out what she likes through what Megan hates, making me do the opposite of what Megan would like, behaving differently than how I am with Megan. This entire time right from the beginning, she was getting me to bend to her will from the room she’s been confined to. She worked herself into each and every one of my thoughts and lured me in with a body I’m familiar with. She made me eager to know her.
I feel sick as I realize she made me want to make her happy and find out more about her despite everything I dislike about her. Thoughts of Megan plague me. Does she hate me? Could she forgive me for this, is Alana telling the truth? Maybe Megan understands. What the fuck did I do?
Three more days would have made two weeks. It didn’t take her long at all to completely destroy what I thought was a solid foundation.
What could she do if she had more time?
I’m scared to see what might happen if we’re here any longer together, and I can’t keep her in that room. As much as I hate to admit it, but after this, I know I can’t face her
Everything has gone to shit. I push myself off the floor to go grab my phone off the kitchen counter. I type up a message, reading it twice before I send it to Cal, then I get dressed and leave the villa to get myself together.