25
Kam
I watchher from an upstairs window looking like a mermaid, as she gracefully swims around on her back as if nothing happened just now.
But it did. Something huge happened.
I kissed Alana. I did. Me. She didn’t make a move on me, and she didn’t trick me into doing so. Every bit of that was my doing, and it’s confusing the shit out of me.
Why the hell did I do that?
All of my conflicting emotions crashed together out there as she yelled that I’d never know what it takes to handle everything that comes with her. All I could see as she screamed at me was the vixen lying on the pool chair with her arms above her head, showing off her perfect breast with that mischievous grin on her lips. Even though what she was saying pissed me off, I couldn’t help but notice how close she’d gotten and that even with her face balled up in rage, she’s gorgeous. Despite her being completely unreasonable and purposefully difficult, all of her craziness, all of her stubbornness, is confusingly sexy as fuck because, at the end of the day, she has the love of my life’s face and body.
But how would Megan feel about this? By kissing Alana, is that the same as kissing another woman even though it’s Megan’s body? Did I just make a huge fucking mistake? Am I supposed to be feeling more guilty about this?
Half of me is remorseful, consumed with guilt for betraying Megan by accepting this part of her that neither of us wanted to stick around. Would Megan want me to convince this part of her that I could make her happy?
As I watch Alana swimming down below without a care in the world, the part of me that wants to see them as one person tells me I’m only doing so to make myself feel better about what I’ve done. But I’m not completely off base. Alana’s a part of Megan, like she’s said a few times. However different they may be, they’re still one person. So, in essence, I just kissed Megan, just a different version of her.
Even in my own head, I know that’s a desperate attempt at making myself feel less like shit.
Until I figure her out and sort through these confusing emotions, I can’t let myself fall like that again. At this point, I need to talk to Megan about this. Then a thought makes my heart slam in my chest. Does she already know? Will she understand where I’m coming from?
As these questions rattle around in my head, I trail Alana around the swimming pool, watching her kick her long legs, moving slowly along in the water, floating on her back lazily as the water holds her up. I can’t help but wonder if she’s thinking about it too. I have no clue what’s going on in that head of hers. I never do.
I know she hates me. She makes it her main priority to let me know so. But still, she kissed me back.
She was all over me and dominated the kiss, as I should’ve predicted. Nobody’s ever kissed me like that before. It was among the hottest encounters I’ve had to date; how she took over and the way she sucked my tongue into her mouth drove me wild, and the feel of her legs wrapped around my waist still lingers. I couldn’t have ever predicted I'd be standing here with a hard-on watching her float around the pool.
Fuck. What has she done to me?
My alarm going off startles me, and I’m pulled from my thoughts, but I’m still in a daze. I have been since I’ve come back inside. I need to go downstairs and make lunch for her. She didn’t have anything in between lunch and breakfast, and she burned a lot of energy swimming, so I know she’s hungry.
But I stand here and watch her for another five minutes, not wanting to take my eyes off of her; I don’t want her to disappear somewhere, but mostly because I just can’t look away.
It isn’t much longer before she swims to the edge of the pool stairs and climbs out. Even when she doesn’t know someone's watching, she still has this alluring vibe to her, and I’m drawn to her.
But I shouldn’t be.
She glides over to where her towel is, pointing her face up towards the sun as she lifts both arms to put her hair behind her shoulders. She has a bounce to her walk, her hips swaying as she sashays to the pool chair. Once she has her towel wrapped around her, she comes back inside without drying off. After all the energy she just put out, I get it.
She turns to come back inside, and it takes everything in me to calm down. I have to think of every turn-off under the sun to get my dick to calm down and quickly. I can’t give her a chance to grab something to stab or hit me with.
Five minutes later, I finally make it back downstairs to find her rummaging through the fridge, standing in a puddle of water.
She doesn’t know I’m standing here, but I don’t want to be in the same space as her right now. I can’t be, not with how mixed up my head is. I need to get her away from me for just a second, so I can regroup.
“Alana-”
At my voice, she jumps and spins around, holding a Tupperware bowl with leftover chicken.
Her eyes flicker up and down my body as a frown settles into her features.
“What?” she asks before she goes back to searching the fridge.
“You hungry? I’ll make you something to eat while you shower.”
“Not so you can lock me back in that room,” she says as she turns around with a bowl of strawberries. “Besides, this thing inside of me wants food now.”