24
Ian
Home sweet home.It’s been a while since I’ve been back here, almost two months now, and I know I’m about to get a lot of shit from my mother for it. This is the longest I’ve gone without visiting. It’s not that I purposefully avoid coming home; it’s just that I’m busy, and these past few weeks have been wild. I’ve talked to her on the phone a few times, but that isn’t enough for my mom; she wants to look me in the eyes to make sure that my words match up with my expression.
Today, she’s going to know I haven’t been telling her even half of what’s going on. My “I’ve been good” check-ins are going to be dismantled, and I don’t know how I’m going to tell her a portion of everything without spilling it all. I tried to prepare myself the entire way here, but my head is where it always is.
The airport security camera search is ongoing, and Cal should be calling me any day, but that’s all I have to hope for other than the two of them coming back on their own.
With all of that fuckery rolling around in my head, and my mom’s inquisitive eyes have probably already caught it all on my face the moment she sees me from the kitchen window walking up the concrete walkway.
She’s surprised to see me, and I can’t help but smile and wave at her. She disappears from the window, and a few seconds later, the door flies open.
“It’s good to know you can go months without seeing your old mother,” she says in a scolding tone. “Maybe if I had another child, that one would come and see me more.”
“Then I wouldn’t have to come as often as I do,” I joke as I laugh. When I get to her, I lean over to hug her, and she wraps her arms around me.
“I’m sorry. I’ve just been dealing with a lot Ma,” I tell her.
She pulls away from me but brings her hands up and places them on my cheeks, holding me in place as if I’m still six and not a grown-ass man. She searches my face for a brief moment before I pull away.
But it’s too late.
“You haven’t been sleeping,” she states as she turns to go back into the house.
I follow her, shutting the door behind me.
“Because of everything I have going on right now.”
The inside of the house smells amazing, and my stomach rumbles for the first time since Megan’s disappearance. I can always count on her cooking to pull my appetite out. She could be a gourmet chef if she ever decides she wants to quit teaching.
“Well, if you called me more than twice a month, you could get some of it off your chest,” she says, going back into the kitchen. “Sit down. You chose a perfect time to stop by. I just finished dinner.”
“What? It’s like one,” I point out.
“I have things I need to do this evening, so I won’t have to worry about it. Do you want some or not?”
“Beef stew and garlic mash potatoes,” I say as I take a seat, inhaling the aroma filling the kitchen. “Of course, I want some. You must’ve known I was coming.”
She shrugs before she reaches up into the cabinet. “I felt that it was time for your annual visit.”
“I can get my own plate, Ma,” I tell her. “You don’t have to serve me.”
“You walked through my door talking about having a rough few weeks,” she reminds me. “And you haven’t been sleeping. You need to take a load off.”
I’m not about to argue with her about it. That’s something I won’t be able to win. The pupil can’t beat the teacher, so I stay right where I am.
“Tell me what’s been going on with my only son,” she says from the stove with her back to me.
How do I tell her about this shit show without giving away that it revolves around Alana? She still can’t even stand to hear Alana’s name. She’d hate to find out that Alana has once again come into my life and thrown everything off. If I told her the full story, that’s how she’d see it. I never told her anything about Alana’s mental condition. I don’t think Ma knowing about her condition will warm her towards Alana at all. In any case, I don’t want to be the one to tell my mother about my wife’s mental health issues. I’d much rather have Alana disclose this news herself. When the time comes and when Alana’s ready, I’ll be right here to support her, but I’m not going to bring it up without her here.
So I do the only thing I can.
“Well,” I start as she sets a plate loaded down with steaming beef stew over mashed potatoes in front of me. “One of my close friends went missing a couple of weeks ago.”
“Oh, wow,” she breathes out, shocked. “I wasn’t expecting that. I thought this was going to be about a girl. The last time you looked this disheveled was when that bitch of a wife left you.”
“Don’t call her a bitch; this isn’t about her.” Which I’m not counting as a total lie. “Anyway, her family doesn’t know where she is, and nobody’s heard from the guy she’s with either.”