She lets out a sigh and sits back in her seat. “At the last art show, I put a painting up that she’d been working on without her permission. Let’s just say it didn’t go well...”
The waitress returns and Hilary orders more drinks and gives her the wing flavors we decided on.
It feels good to be able to just hang out with no pressure of the world collapsing for a little while. I consider myself lucky she wants to hang out. I realized how rare Hilary is before. Not a lot of women are as chill and laid back as she is. And her sense of humor is right there with mine.
But I can’t bring myself to pursue anything with her with these unresolved feelings for Veronica, and my mind is focused on her safety. I don’t want Hilary to despise me, so I’m fine with being her friend.
The waitress leaves, promising to be right back with our drinks, and Hilary turns back to find me staring at her.
A small smile turns up on her lips, and her cheeks go pink as she tucks her hair behind her ear.
“What?” she asks.
“I’m just wondering how you’re about to eat twelve wings and maybe more. I’m excited to watch it happen.”
She giggles and rolls her eyes.
“I’m being nice sharing with you,” she says, and I feel the same, but just give her a wink. “I’m about to demolish these.”
“Now that I have to see!”
“You sound like one of those people who have that fetish- the one where they like watching people eat,” she quips, looking me up and down.
“Feederism?” I throw out there, humored.
“No, not that one,” she says, shaking her head, then she squints her eyes at me. “Unless you’re getting off on the idea of me gaining weight?”
I throw my hands up. “You caught me. Guess I have to find someone else to feed.”
She laughs. “No, it’s not that one, though. It starts with an ‘M.’ Muk- Muk-”
“Mukbang?”
“Yes!” she says, perking up, and now I chuckle.
“I don’t think mukbang is the fetish name,” I clarify. “It means eating broadcasts. I think it originated in South Korea? You’ve seen those videos of people live-streaming themselves eating a fuck ton of food while they talk about something? I don’t know if you have to be talking about anything. But it’s the name for the trend, not the name for getting enjoyment from watching people eat.”
“Blue,” she leans across the table, her humored eyes glued to mine. “Have you seen a bunch of those videos? You know a lot about it.”
I stare at her a moment before I shrug. “If I come across a video, I’ll watch it-” her eyes go wide, and I laugh as I say, “- but I don’t get horny from it or anything, or it doesn’t satisfy some unknown desire in me. I just want to see if they can eat all that food. It’s insane. You’ve never watched one?”
“No,” she laughs, shaking her head. “Why would someone else want to watch another person eat food and talk about random shit…?” she laughs.
“It’s not creepy,” I joke, pulling out my phone and unlocking the screen. “But look.”
I type “mukbang” into my search bar and click on the first video that appears, and turn the screen to Hilary. Immediately, all of her attention is on the video.
“Oh my god,” she says, staring. “That’s an assload of food!”
“Right!”
She looks up at me. “You mean to tell me this tiny girl is gonna eat all of that?”
I nod, smiling that she’s so clearly into it. Her eyes go back to the screen, and she watches, fascinated.
“No way she can eat all of that,” Hilary says in disbelief.
“She does,” I say, putting my phone away. “I watched that one.”