His eyes go wide as my words fall out.
“I know Alana can handle herself,” I continue. “She’s a survivor. Megan, I’m not so sure. And Veronica-”
“She wouldn’t come out to deal with this,” Blue interrupts me. “And if she did, it wouldn’t be for long. She’s a negotiator-”
“-which won’t do any good if Richie Rich is determined to act like a nut case,” I cut in. “We both know if he’s done some fucked up shit, who's going to handle it.”
“You’re right,” Blue says, finally getting to my final thought, staring at the floor.
“And I have no idea how she’s going to react,” I tell him, shaking my head. “Well, I have an idea of how she’s going to respond.” I can’t help but chuckle, picturing prim and proper Kam trying to take on my little psycho. But the idea of him handling her cuts my laugh short. “I know Alana can take care of herself, but she’s pregnant now. And thinking about how Kameron’s going to respond to her pisses me off.”
Blue swallows hard.
“He’s not going to know how to,” he states.
“I know, and he’s probably going to end up doing some shit that could make her come back with a fourth altar.” The thought makes my head spin as I imagine another person with Megan’s face introducing themselves to me. “From what you’ve told me, Kam sees Veronica and Alana as a disturbance and only really acknowledges Megan. I’ve done enough research on my own to know that’s not how to go about interacting with her.”
“He acts like if he keeps her happy, then Alana and Veronica will disappear,” Blue says.
“And I’m worried that’s going to fuck her up even more,” I say, hanging my head. “I mean, I know she isn’tfuckedup. I mean that to say, that’s just going to put her more in conflict with herself. Megan and Alana already hate each other, and with Kameron doing this shit, who knows how they’re going to be after this. I’m worried about them each individually, but I know they’re three pieces to an extremely complex puzzle. No matter how different they all are, they’re all still one person, and I’m worried for her.”
My words hang in the air as Blue takes a moment to respond.
“If it is what you’re thinking, if Kam really did go to this extreme, then have faith in Alana,” he finally says, trying to calm me. “No way she’d sit back and let him do anything like that. She’s probably giving him hell, and they’ll be back in no time. But I don’t think you should assume that extreme just yet.”
He had me until he said that. I know my gut isn’t wrong. I just know this is my connection to her making me unable to eat a fry without wanting to vomit.
Blue continues even though I just want him to get the fuck out now.
“Before you start jumping to conclusions, wait until her brothers get back to you with actual concrete news. You can’t sit here pissing yourself off because you’re making up scenarios in your head.”
I shake my head. “I can feel it, man. I know she’s in trouble.”
Blue sighs and puts his hands on his knees before pushing himself up the couch.
“Well, I can’t tell you how to feel,” he says. “And who knows, you might have some cosmic connection to her or whatever bullshit they use to explain gut feelings. But still, you shouldn’t sit in here driving yourself crazy. Eat that burger and get the fuck out of this apartment. Cal will call all the same, whether you’re here or not. Take a walk in the park, take an angry run, but whatever you do, don’t sit in here driving yourself crazy. I have to go, but I’ll be back later tonight.”
He walks in front of me and picks up the greasy brown bag that still holds the fries that came with my burger. He tosses it into my lap before he turns to leave.
The door shuts behind him, and I sit here a moment before I shove my hand into the bag and pull out a few fries. I have the intention of eating them, but I can already feel my stomach protest. I drop them back into the bag, put it back on the table, and get up. I can’t eat, but I’ll go out but not because Blue demanded that I do. I can’t help my wife, and the fact that I’m here doing nothing is just making me feel more restless than I’ve ever felt in my life. So I grab my camera from my room and head out. I don’t plan on returning anytime soon either.
I don’t take my truck; this traffic is only going to give me a worse case of road rage. So I take off on foot, camera in hand, but nothing sticks out. As of right now, the only thing in the world I want to see is Megan back here safely.
That’s the only sight capable of bringing intrigue back into my world.