16

ADDIE

I sleptmost of the way home. Okay, maybe some of that I faked—like I had last night. I’d freaked out, and I’d needed to hide, and it was the only thing I could think of.

It was cowardly then and now. But my belly was in knots and my heart was racing faster than normal. Last night was on replay in my head. The way Levi had stared at me, the intense look in his eyes, had undone me, and I wasn’t sure my world would ever be the same again.

I wanted to cling to him so badly I ached, but the thought of letting him in sent terror through me. I knew that wasn’t normal, I did. But the fear was real and deep and was twisting those knots in my belly tighter and tighter.

“Addie?”

His deep voice filled the cab, and I yawned, pretending to wake.

“Nearly home, baby.”

I glanced out the window. Familiar fields, the lake in the distance. We were only minutes from Rocktown.

“Okay?” he asked.

Not even a little. I wasn’t the same woman who had left with him only a few nights ago. I knew that much. Yet nothing had changed, had it? I felt different, but the black shadow that seemed to follow me everywhere was still there, telling me that if I let Manic close, something would happen to him. That I’d lose him as well.

It was illogical. Something my child mind had invented while I lay in my bed, crying, missing my family so badly that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Reliving that day every night when I slept. Losing them had created a deep scar, the trauma of what happened that awful day becoming part of me, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing would ever heal it.

I glanced over at Manic.

“Cupcake?”

“Yeah, just tired,” I said as dread filled me and I looked back out the window. The fantasy was over. Pretending I was Manic’s and he was mine had come to an end.

My phone buzzed in my bag and I pulled it out. Noah’s name flashed on the screen and the dread increased. As much as I wanted to avoid it, I couldn’t. “Noah, hey.”

“Hi, honey.” Noah and Macy had been together for several years before she died. They’d been inseparable. He’d treated her like a queen, and I loved him for it. “How’s it going?” I asked.

“Yeah, you know. One day at a time.”

“If you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask. You know that, right?”

“Thanks, Addie, that means a lot. How you been doing? I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m okay. You just take care of yourself.” He didn’t need to hear about my grief, he had his own to deal with. And there was no way I was getting into it with Manic sitting right there.

“If you ever need to talk, yeah?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” My throat ached from fighting back the tears.

“I actually have another reason for calling.”

“Oh?” Manic glanced my way, and I studiously ignored him.

“I found a box in Macy’s closet. It has your name on it. I came by the café, but you were away. There’s a whole lot of jewelry in there. Some of it looks expensive. She’s labeled everything. Some hers, your mom’s, your grandma’s. There’s a watch that was your dad’s and your grandfather’s medals. A couple things that belonged to your brothers. She wanted to make sure you got it.”

I blinked out the window, fighting back tears as he rattled off a list of everyone I loved and lost. The grief hit me out of nowhere, like a torrential downpour.

I brutally shoved away the pain. I was nearly home. I just had to get inside. I could fall apart once I was alone and inside. “Thanks, Noah. I just got back into town. I’ll be here whenever you’re able to bring it by. Lunch is on me.”

“Okay, honey. I’ll pop in as soon as I can, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

Tags: Sherilee Gray Romance
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