Manic put her down. She was too short to fling her arms around his neck, so she rested them on his chest like I often did for the same reason.
She tilted her head back and beamed at him. “I didn’t know you were coming!”
Manic opened his mouth to say something, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand there for one more moment. The feeling rising in me, it wasn’t about some random girl, not really. I wanted this to be real. I didn’t want to go home tomorrow and pretend this was nothing, but I was too scared to reach for more. The panic inside me grew, widened.
One of the topless women dancing smiled at me and waved me over.
“I need to dance,” I said, taking the lifeline she was offering, though I doubted Manic heard me over the girl’s excitement at seeing him and the blaring music.
I hit the dance floor, and my new friend laughed and spun me, and then I was lost in the music, surrounded by a bunch of biker babes I’d never met before.
Manic’s words from earlier in the day filled my head.
All I had to do was watch you, though, my wild girl, raising hell, causing trouble, to know what you wanted. You were fucking begging for someone to hold you down, to stop you from spinning.
I shoved his voice out of my head and let go. I needed to find her again, the wild girl raising hell. She protected me from the pain, she kept the panic attacks and the nightmares under control. Manic had been stripping her back, breaking her down, and I had to find her again before we got home to Rocktown tomorrow. I had to.
We danced for several songs, and I risked a glance Manic’s way several times. Francine was gone, and he stood close, his arms folded. He was talking to some other guy, but his eyes were on me, watching me in a way that laid me bare, in a way that said he saw right through me. He hadn’t come and pulled me off the dance floor, though, and I could tell he wanted to.
The next time I looked his way, he crooked a finger at me, his gaze so intense I shivered. I felt too wired, too raw to go to him now.
Ignoring him was probably a bad idea, but I headed in the opposite direction, getting swallowed by the crowd of people on my way toward the bathroom. I knew where it was because Jessa, Ham’s old lady, had pointed it out when we’d arrived. Wandering around the clubhouse on my own wasn’t smart, but I was sticking to the main room.
I just needed a moment to pull it together. I’d let my emotions get the better of me, and that was the last thing I needed tonight.
There was no line, thankfully, so I quickly used the bathroom, cooled my overheated face with water, and dabbed it dry with a paper towel, then took several steadying breaths.
This is your last night. Don’t ruin it.
I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I did. God, I didn’t want to run from him. Tonight, he was still mine, and I didn’t want to waste another moment.
I pulled the door open, and Cracker was waiting for me. He grinned.
It wasn’t a nice grin.
Ignoring him, I tried to move past him.
He stepped in my way. “I only want to talk.”
“I need to get back to Manic,” I said and tried to go around him a second time.
He got in my way again. “He’s a little busy with Francine,” he said.
No, he wasn’t. Manic would never do that. And last I looked, she was nowhere to be seen. “Still, he’ll be waiting for me.”
He leaned in and tapped the side of his nose. “You’re not really his old lady, are you, sweetheart? If you were his property, you’d be wearing his patch. Manic’s trying to keep you all to himself. He gets like that. Never did much like to share. But I think it’s a lady’s prerogative to choose who she spends time with, don’t you?”
Was this guy serious? “I did choose. I chose Manic.” It couldn’t really be that easy, could it?
He shook his head. “I saw the way you looked at me, sweetheart. And that show you put on for me, out there dancing. I know you want a piece of Cracker. You don’t need to pretend. Manic will be pissed at first, but he’s not the kind to claim pussy long term.” He glanced over his shoulder to where Manic had been standing. “Like I expected, he’s got his tongue down Francine’s throat.” He laughed. “The guy always did have a thing for blondes.”
I resisted the urge to look. I wasn’t taking my eyes off this guy, and I didn’t need to because he was full of shit.
“Addie, there you are,” Jessa said, materializing out of the crowd. “Manic’s looking for you. You okay?”
“Hey, yeah, I was just on my way back.” I could have kissed her.
Cracker scowled. “Hang on a minute.”