I swallowed my anger. Fighting with him would only keep us in this loop of fighting and then going years not talking. I was done with that shit, so I forced myself to give him the truth, something that I knew would make him uncomfortable. “It’s been too long. I moved away, but this place is still home.”
He straightened his shoulders. “You moving back?”
There was a hopefulness in his voice that cut me at the fucking knees. I was that kid all over again, trying to impress him, to make him proud. He may be emotionally stunted, but he was easy to read, and he’d get this look in his eyes, like now, that told me I was doing something right, that I’d pleased him. When I was a kid, he’d give my shoulder a squeeze or a pat on the back, and I’d feel ten feet tall.
He’d been my fucking hero, and disappointing him when I left had cut deep, and I was about to again. “No, not to live permanently, but—”
“So the truth comes out, huh? Why you’re really here. You want that land.”
“It’s my fucking land.”
He shook his stubborn head. “You’re not touching it.”
“You don’t get to decide that,” I bit out.
“You want a fucking holiday cabin, build one at some resort or close to your new place. We don’t have holiday houses up here, boy. This life isn’t for weekenders. Smiths have lived here for over a hundred years. Not part time. They lived the life, and they worked hard here in these mountains to make it a good one.”
I’d heard the same speech more times than I could count. My fingers curled tighter, and my anger rose hard and fast. “You’re still butt-hurt I left and you need to get over it. That’s my land, and I’ll do whatever the hell I like with it. You need to honor Pops’s wishes and sign it over to me. If you don’t, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”
There was a scrape behind us. Addie stood there, eyes wide. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
The old man stormed out of the room and outside, slamming the door behind him. I watched him through the window as he strode across the yard to his workshop.
“Fuck.” I shoved my fingers in my hair. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t control my damn temper for more than five fucking minutes around him. He pushed my buttons, but I knew that, I expected it. “Fuck,” I said again.
“Manic?”
“Levi. You call me Levi.” The words were out before I knew they were coming and with more force than I’d wanted. But I needed her, to feel close to her. She wasn’t one of my brothers, she was my woman, and right then, I needed her in ways I barely knew how to process.
She closed the space between us and placed her hands on my chest. “Levi,” she said, soft, tentative.
I took a calming breath. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“I fucked everything up, Adds.”
Her gaze softened, sympathy in her brown eyes, and she leaned in, wrapping her arms around me.
I hugged her back, pressing my mouth to the top of her head. “I don’t know what to say to him, how to make him understand.” I looked out the window. Smoke lightly puffed out of the workshop chimney. He was planning on staying out there until we left, no doubt. Stubborn old bastard.
Addie lifted her head. “There’s one thing I know for sure. You don’t know how important your family is until they’re gone. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean you should forgive or give time to people who hurt you, or who don’t have your best interests at heart, no matter who they are. But you both care about each other. You’ve told me yourself he doesn’t know how to communicate. But you do.”
I brushed my fingers over her soft cheek. Christ, just having her in my arms was smoothing out all the sharp edges. “I wish it were that easy.”
“Have you ever told him how you feel?”
“I just did, and he stormed off.”
She shook her head. “You told him what you want, not how you feel. And you need to be calm when you do it. Some people need time to process things. Say what you’re feeling, what you’rereallyfeeling, then leave him to mull it all over.”
My lips curved. Somehow, this woman could make me smile when everything had been completely fucked just a few minutes ago. “We’re not really the talk-about-our-feelings kind of guys.”
She tilted her head to the side. “I don’t know your dad, but I’ve gotten to know you pretty well the last year or so, and you’re not exactly the strong, silent type. You let people know what you’re thinking and feeling, Levi.”
My gut gripped at the sound of my name on her lips again. But she was right. Being in the club, with guys like that, you learned to say your piece. I’d been holding back from Addie, though, but only because she wasn’t ready for the truth, not yet. “Chasing you around Rocktown with my tongue hanging out is a bit different than talking to my old man about myfeelings, cupcake.”
She laughed, her eyes sparkling before she sobered, her fingers flexing against my chest. “Trust me. If you tell him what you told me on the way here, he’ll come around.”
I covered her hand with mine, keeping it there. Loved when she touched me. Couldn’t get enough of it. “You really think so?”
“I really do.”