19
Jem
Satisfiedthat Dan isn’t about to make an appearance, and unable to sit in a room full of temptation, I leave. Perceptive as ever, Bryn follows and suggests he comes home with me but I inform him I want to be alone. Things descend into an argument over how I think he constantly assumes I’m about to go home and start using, as if I have a secret stash somewhere. Bryn puts up with a lot of my shit and is a solid friend, but he needs to back off.
Still wired from the evening, I pace around the house attempting to deny I’m jealous of Ruby and Jax for more than their musical relationship. The jittery energy prevents me sitting still for long or able to focus on playing. I run through my scrawled list of distraction techniques but lying on my bed staring at the ceiling conjuring images of Ruby’s mouth on Jax’s doesn’t help.
Ruby isn’t home. I guess she went back to the guys’ house. Pouty Jem wonders why the hell she didn’t just move in with them anyway. I’m sure Jax would’ve shared a bed with her.
Shit, Jem, get a grip.
Exercise is my other release. I’ve learned I can run off stress and get a kick of endorphins this way, with the added bonus that the exercise keeps me in shape. However, two a.m. sessions on the treadmill only happen when I’m slipping. Tomorrow I’ll talk to someone.
The gym is in the basement and when I emerge calmer and ready for a shower, a light is on in the kitchen. Poking my head around the door, I see Ruby grappling with the coffee machine. Her lack of co-ordination amuses me, like one of those fake drunks you see on a TV comedy show. Coffee beans cover the bench next to her and Ruby swears as she fails to attach the porta filter for the third time.
“Want some help?” I ask.
Ruby jumps then turns to me. “I wanted coffee. Your machine’s broken.”
I laugh at her. “Sure.”
I take the beans from Ruby and the smell of booze assaults me. As I put the machine together and switch it on, I’m aware of her scrutiny.
“On your own?” I ask.
“Clearly. Who would be here?” Her words slur at the edges.
“The rest of the band.”
Ruby wrinkles her nose. “I don’t invite guests to your house.”
“I never said you couldn’t.”
“Right.” She elongates the word. “So I can bring random people to Jem Jones’s house?”
“I trust your judgement.”
The aroma of fresh coffee subdues the smell of alcohol and Ruby pulls out two cups. “Coffee, Jem Jones?”
“Why do you always say my name like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re taking the piss.”
“Sorry, I expected you’d like people around you to be reverential.”
She rubs her lips together and focuses on my mouth, before touching my naked chest. I step back because nobody placed fingers on my skin recently and she sends a shock through my body. Ruby traces the outline of the stars tattooed on my bicep.
“Your ink is cool. I have plenty. Do you want to see my favourite?” Ruby switches to fumbling with her baggy black top, pulling the side up so the edge of her lace-covered tit is visible above her ribs.
Fuck.
“Yeah, nice.” I take the merest glance at the black words tattooed below the lace and look away. “I’m headed for a shower.”
“I have more tattoos!” She giggles again. “Secret ones.”
As she bunches her skirt higher up her thighs, I grab Ruby’s arm. “Stop.”