She was completely baffled by his unexpected response. Why would he be so angry over the fact that she'd never been with another man? "I thought men liked having virgins."
Ash raked his hand through his hair as he struggled to keep his temper in check. But it wasn't just anger he felt. There was shock, guilt and a hunger for her so profound he wasn't sure how he kept himself from her.
"I'm not most men." He picked her jeans up from the floor and handed them to her.
She gaped at him. "So that's it? You're just going to leave because I've never been with anyone else?"
"That's exactly what I'm going to do." He tried to reach the door, but she put herself in front of it as she raked him with her own furious glower.
"Oh the horror of this situation," she said, her tone so thick with sarcasm he'd need a chainsaw to cut through it. "So what you're telling me is if I go downstairs and get laid by some other man first, I'll then be good enough for you?"
Jealousy ripped through him at the mere thought.
She narrowed her gaze suspiciously. "You don't like that idea either, do you?"
Ash struggled to breathe as images of her with someone else tore through him. No, he didn't want her with anyone else, but at the same time he didn't want to be her first. He didn't want to hurt her and honestly, he didn't want her to remember him or have any regrets. She deserved better than that. Someone better than him to sleep with her. "How can you be a virgin at your age?"
"I'm not ninety, Acheron. Good grief. I told you, I have a bad history with men. Every time I ever tried to sleep with one, something happened. Either someone came in on us or . . . in one case the guy fell off the bed as he climbed in and broke his collar bone."
She took his head in her hands and forced him to look at her. "I want to be with you, Ash. No strings. No commitments. I'm a big girl and I'm not going to turn into a stalker. I just want to love you for a little while."
Those words seared him and at the same time he wanted to curse because they made it impossible for him to walk away from her. "You don't deserve to be laid in a room in a bar for your first time."
"And that right there is why I want to be with you. You're the only man I've ever met who would even think about that."
Because he knew what it was like to be ruthlessly violated and to be haunted by it. For some reason, the first encounter lingered in everyone's memory. It was why he'd always made sure to take special care with virgins and why he'd been so good at what he did. No one deserved to be humiliated the way he had been. To cry from the pain of it and be laughed at while he begged for mercy.
Stop your damn blubbering, whore. It'll be over when I'm finished with you. He'd then been backhanded so hard, it'd broken his nose. There now. That pain'll get the other off your mind.
Why with all the powers that he had could he not purge his own memories? Why was eleven thousand years not enough to make the pain turn dull?
All he wanted was one moment free of those memories. One safe place where no one reminded him of what they'd made him. Of what he'd done to himself.
Tory frowned at the shadows she saw in Ash's eyes as if some painful memory tortured him. She wanted to soothe that ache more than anything. Why wouldn't he let her? "Ash?"
He reached down to put his hand on the scar where they'd operated on her. "You shouldn't be out of bed."
"I'm not in pain. I don't understand it, but I'm not. And I don't want to go to bed alone. Are you going to make me beg?"
Anger curled his lips. "You don't ever beg for anything."
She pulled his head down so that she could kiss him.
Ash growled as she stirred inside him an animal part that scared him. But he refused to give in to it. "I won't tup you like a whore in a backroom, Soteria. Let me finish playing with the Howlers."
She eyed him suspiciously. "Then you'll be back?"
The hesitation in his eyes made her hurt for him. He drew a deep breath before he spoke. "I'll be back."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
She kissed the tip of his nose, hoping he was being honest with her. "I'm going to hold you to that."
Ash swallowed. She didn't have to. Once he made a promise, he was bound by the laws of the universe to see it through or die. "Rest until I get back." He gave her a deep kiss.
Tory melted at the feeling of his arm around her while he cupped her cheek with his other hand and ravaged her mouth.
He pulled back and drew another deep breath as if fighting for the strength to leave her.
She smiled at him. "Don't make me wait too long."
He nodded as he left her to dress.
Tory pulled her clothes on before she went outside again to find Justina and Katherine back at their chairs. Heat rushed over her cheeks until she remembered that the room was completely insulated from noise. "Can I borrow your cell phone?"
Justina pulled it out and handed it to her.
She called Pam. "Hey sweetie . . . no I'm fine. I'm at the Sanctuary Bar over on Ursulines. Any chance I can get you two over here?"
"Sure. We'll be right there."
Tory hung up the phone and returned it to Justina. "Just FYI, I'm going to head out for a few minutes, but I'll be right back."
Katherine's expression turned stern and immovable. "You're not going anywhere without us. We're under strictest orders to keep you safe at all costs."
Ash . . . she could almost beat him for it, but then again that protectiveness was part of what she adored about him the most. At least sometimes.
Unwilling to fight, Tory held her hands up. "Fine. Just don't tell Ash. We'll slip out and be back before he finishes the next set."
Katherine didn't look convinced. "I'm not so sure about this."
"Oh, come on. It's just around the block a bit. We'll be fine. Besides forewarned is forearmed. We know to watch for them."
Katherine was still resisting.