I grabbed my cloak and headed outside to check on him.
As soon as he saw my approach, he shrank from me until he was up against the far stone wall. With no place else to go, he sank to his knees and held his arm up as if to protect his head and face. "Forgive me, Idika. Please, I-I-I meant no offense."
I knelt beside him and took his face in my hands to soothe him. He tensed so much at my touch that it was a wonder he wasn't brittle from it. "Acheron, it's all right. No one's angry at you. You've done nothing wrong. Shh . . ."
He swallowed as his fright turned to confusion. Dear gods, what had they done to him that he should tremble so when he'd done nothing to warrant it?
"I was only curious why you were out here without your shoes on. It's cold and I didn't want you to catch a fever."
My concern baffled him as much as his fear baffled me.
He gestured toward his room that held a small terrace which, like mine, opened out onto the garden. The door was still ajar. "I didn't see anyone here so I thought it safe. I just wanted to feel the grass. I-I meant no harm, Idika. I was going to return to my room as soon as I finished. I swear it."
"I know," I said, stroking his face again before I released him. He relaxed a tiny degree now that I didn't touch him. "It really is all right. I'm not upset at you. But I don't understand why you'd want to feel the grass as cold as it is. It's all dried up this time of year."
He brushed his hand over it. "Does it not always feel like this?"
I frowned at his question. "You've never touched grass before?"
"I think I did when I was small. But I don't remember." He brushed his hand over it again in a gentle action that wrung my heart. "I only wanted to touch it once. I won't leave my room again, Idika. I should have asked permission first. Forgive me." He hung his head down.
I wanted to reach out and touch him again, but I knew how much he hated that. "You don't have to ask my permission, Acheron. You may come here anytime you wish. You're free now."
He looked at his branded palm that held his slave's mark, then clenched it into a fist. "Idikos said that the king made him promise I would never leave the house."
I gaped at his disclosure. "You've been locked in your room since you arrived at Atlantis?"
"Not always. When idikos returns from a trip, I greet him in the receiving room. I'm always the first one he wants to see. Then sometimes idikos chains me in his office by my ankles or to his bed. And at night I go to the dining hall and to the ballroom when we have parties."
And every night he slept in Estes's bed. He'd already told me that much.
"But you've never been outside?"
He glanced at me, then averted his gaze. It was what Estes had taught him to do since so many people were put off by his swirling silver eyes. "I'm allowed to sit on the balcony between clients so that my skin isn't so pale. Meara will even let me eat out there sometimes."
I'd learned from him that Meara was the maid who'd written to me and who'd helped him escape. She'd been the kindest of his keepers and the only one who'd made sure that he ate and was comfortable . . . when not entertaining. The other thing I'd learned from him was that Estes used food to control him.
Acheron ate only when he was pleasing to others. How much he was allowed depended on how many clients he'd seen that day and how happy they'd been with him.
The very thought sickened me.
"You love Meara, don't you?"
"She's always kind to me. Even when I'm bad, she doesn't hurt me."
Bad. Defined by Estes as anytime a client was rough with Acheron and left a mark on his body. Acheron was charged with pleasing them in any way they wanted and yet if they wanted to be rough and he allowed it, he was punished for it. If he didn't allow them to hurt him, they were displeased and Estes punished him twice as hard for not giving them what they paid for. Acheron couldn't win this battle.
I clenched my hands into fists to keep from reaching out to touch him. I just wanted to gather him into my arms and hold him until the nightmare that had been his life was completely erased from his memory.
But how? How could I make him understand that he was safe now? That no one would ever touch him without his explicit invitation? That he was free to make his own decisions and that no one would beat him for voicing his opinion?
Or for walking outside to feel the grass on his feet?
It would take time. "I'm going back to my room." I pointed to the doors that opened into my chambers. "You can stay out here as long as you like. When you're hungry, tell Petra, the tall older woman you met on our arrival, and she'll make you whatever you wish. If you need me, don't hesitate to come to my room. The day is yours, little brother. All I ask is that you please put on your shoes so that you won't fall ill."
He nodded and didn't move until I'd put enough distance between us that he was sure I couldn't strike him. I wanted to weep over that.
But there was nothing to be done except to show him that I meant what I said. His life was now his own.
Withdrawing, I returned to my room where I watched him as he put on the shoes he must have been holding under his cloak. Then he explored the small garden for hours. He must have touched everything that was there, feeling the texture and smelling it.
It wasn't until the sun had begun to set that he made his way back to his room. I waited a few minutes before I went to the kitchen and had Petra take him a tray of food.
"Highness?" she asked as I started to leave.
"Yes, Petra?"
"Our guest . . . is he all right?"
"He's fine. He's just bashful and quiet."
She nodded before she made his tray and left with it. Her daughter, whose name I couldn't recall, smiled at me from the corner where she played by the fire.
"You're friend seems lost, Highness. Like the puppy I found last summer. At first he was scared to let anyone near him, but I kept talking to him and leaving him food." She pointed to the dog that was sleeping a few feet from her. "Now he's the best dog in the world. He never leaves my side."
"Everything in the world needs kindness, child."
She nodded, then went back to playing.
I watched her for a moment as old memories surged. Acheron had never been given toys even before Estes had taken him away. Back then, I would share mine with him, but they were all he'd ever had.
The girl was right. My brother was sadly lost. I just hoped that in time he would become as comfortable here as the dog obviously was. That he would learn to feel welcome in a world that so obviously hated him.
November 19, 9532 BC
I'd slept late today without meaning to. It was almost the noon hour before I awoke. And what awakened me was the most startling thing of all.