Instead of angering her, his words turned her expression soft and gentle. "I'm not a jerk, Aidan. I wouldn't have come to you if I wanted you hurt."
It made sense when she said it, but he couldn't shake the bitterness inside him that didn't want to get burned again. He was so tired of people playing him, using him to get what they wanted, then casting him aside the minute he displeased them.
He wasn't disposable waste. He was a human being with feelings just like everyone else.
Afraid of what Leta might do to him and afraid of his past, he reached out to touch her cheek. Her skin was so soft, her lips inviting. There had been a time in his life when he wouldn't have hesitated to make a move on a woman like this. A time when he'd have had her laughing and naked in his bed.
Now that part of himself was dead. He would never again be so carefree and full of life. His soul had been kicked to the ground where it was still mired by memories and pain so profound that he wondered if he would ever be able to resuscitate any part of the man he'd once been.
Did he even want to?
There was something to be said for being numb. There was no liability. No harm to himself or anyone else. It was a nice place to live once you got past the loneliness.
But as he stared into those eyes so blue and sincere, all the isolation of his life hit him square in the chest.
If I have gone insane would it be so bad to kiss her?
Would it?
And before he could second-guess himself, he dipped his head to taste the sweetest lips he'd ever known.
Leta buried her hands in Aidan's soft hair as her breath mingled with his. For a mortal man, he knew how to kiss. She could feel the steel of his body pressing against hers, feel the heat of his embrace all the way to her immortal soul.
She shouldn't be doing this. Yet she couldn't make herself stop. It'd been way too long since she last touched any man. Since she'd allowed any passion to touch her life. She was supposed to be devoid of emotions, but here she stood, feeling his presence with every part of herself.
Was she siphoning from him? That was the most logical explanation for these emotions and yet that didn't seem right. Her feelings were too vivid. They felt like hers. This wasn't his anger. It wasn't his lust. It was a longing that she, herself, had and it came from deep inside her battered heart. A need to be close to him.
Afraid of losing her feelings, she wrapped her arms around him and transported them back to his cabin. She deepened her kiss as her heartbeat quickened and her blood fired. This was what she needed most.
Aidan.
She pulled back to stare up at him. "I want to be with you, Aidan," she whispered as her hands paused at the hem of his shirt.
Honestly, she expected him to push her away again. She certainly wouldn't blame him if he did after everything he'd been through. No one would blame him for it.
But he didn't. His green eyes blazing with heat, he jerked his shirt off over his head, and pulled her back into his arms to continue their kiss.
Closing her eyes, she savored the taste of him, the feel of his hands skimming over her body as she held him against her. His muscles bunched and tightened under her palms, reminding her of a time long ago when she'd been afraid of touching a man like this. But that had been eons ago and she'd changed so much since then.
For centuries, she'd fought Dolor alone, trying to save as many humans from him as she could. She'd felt it was her duty even though she was numb to everything but pain.
After a while that absence of feeling had worn on her and weakened her resolve. She'd learned to siphon emotions from humans in their dreams. For a time, she'd started relying on those emotions and had been afraid of turning Skoti-one of the dread dream gods who preyed on humans so that they would have feelings. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, except when they took too much and drove the human hosts insane and shattered their lives. It was something she couldn't allow herself to do to an innocent person. The moment she'd truly seen herself slipping into the Skoti mindset, she'd locked Dolor and herself away.
Now she wasn't afraid of her emotions or of Aidan's. She wanted them. Needing to feel more, she flashed them into the bedroom and onto the bed.
Aidan pulled away from her lips as he realized where he was. "Nifty trick."
"I can do one better."
Their clothes vanished.
Aidan laughed deep in his throat. "Yeah, that could definitely come in handy."
She rolled him over, onto his back. He looked up at her, drinking in the sight of her bare body against his. Her breasts were the most beautiful he'd ever seen, and he'd seen some of the best in the world. His mouth watering, he pulled her closer so that he could draw her puckered nipple into his mouth.
Leta shivered at the sensation of his hot tongue teasing her. She cupped his head to her as her mind reeled with forgotten sensations. It'd been too long since she'd been intimate with someone. Too long since any man had touched her...
He growled deep in his throat before he pulled back and rubbed his whiskered cheek against her sensitive breast. She sucked her breath in sharply as chills erupted all over her.
She was drunk with her lust as she skimmed his body with her gaze. Every part of him was sculpted with muscles. There was so much strength to him, inside and out. And all she wanted to do was to touch that strength and hold him close.
More than that, she wanted to taste him.
Aidan watched her as she kissed her way down his body. Her long black hair teased against his skin, giving him chills and setting him on fire. It'd been so long since he'd last had a woman that he was actually afraid of coming before he even really touched her.
That was all his bruised ego needed. He'd rather die than embarrass himself like some jacked-up high school kid seeing his first naked woman.
Closing his eyes, he tried to think of anything else besides those dainty lips that brushed against his flesh. Of her tongue flicking over his body. His heart hammering, he wanted this moment to last.
And when he felt her nibble the tip of his cock, it was all he could do not to scream out in pleasure. He opened his eyes to watch as she took him even deeper into her mouth. It was the most incredible sight he'd ever beheld. Her tongue teased and tormented him to the highest level.
Leta smiled at the salty taste of Aidan and at the joy she could feel coming from inside him. It was unbelievable. And most special of all was the feeling she had from him that he was afraid of disappointing her. The fact that he even cared made her heart light.
His kindness reminded her of a time when she'd been like him. When her feelings had been her own and when she'd owned her life. When she'd been free to make her own decisions. She missed that so much...
Most of all, she'd missed feeling connected to someone else. Being a vital part of them-aching when they were on a trip, knowing that someone was out there missing her and counting the heartbeats until they were back together again. There was nothing else like living and breathing for the smile of someone she loved.
Aidan drew a ragged breath as he cupped her head in his hands. He wanted this to be plain, animal sex. No commitment, no promises. Nothing but the two of them scratching a biological itch.
And yet, as he watched her pleasing him, that disgusting, tender part of himself that he hated stirred. It was the part that wanted a woman who didn't cheat on him. One he could trust not to hurt or betray him. One person who would stand by his side no matter what was thrown his way.
Other people had it. Why couldn't he?
Because you don't deserve it...
He didn't want to believe that. Surely to God, given all he'd been through in his life, he was worthy of someone's loyalty. Someone's love.
"Did you ever cheat on your husband, Leta?" He cringed as the words left his lips.
Mentioning her husband would probably be a sex-kill for her.
But even so, he needed to know if she'd been trustworthy or like Heather, a liar who sold herself to the highest bidder.
Her eyes were pain-filled as she pulled away from him. "No. Never. I loved him completely, and so long as he lived, I didn't even look at other men. There was never anyone else in my world except him."