"Oh, I'm serious all right. I called up my best friend to confide in him because I needed someone to talk to and the next thing I knew our conversation was not only in the paparazzi rags, but on blogs and in every industry magazine the bastard could find. 'Aidan O'Conner: The Truth Behind The Legend. Read how his girlfriend betrayed him and left him a drunken sot on the street, begging for change while assaulting his fans.' What killed me most, there was so little truth in what he told them. Instead, he distorted my words and embellished them until I couldn't even recognize what I'd said. Let's just say I learn from my mistakes. So no, I don't talk to friends. Ever."
Well, she could understand that. Back when she'd still had her emotions, she'd once shoved M'Adoc from behind when he'd told their brother M'Ordant that she thought he was a prig at times. She'd been humiliated and mortified that M'Adoc had repeated a private conversation and then used it to hurt someone she loved dearly. It'd made her cautious for weeks about saying anything to anyone, but eventually she'd gotten over it and moved on.
That experience was certainly minor in comparison to what Aidan had been through. Honestly, she couldn't imagine having to cope with something so intrusive or a person so slimy. M'Adoc had only told one person, not the entire world, and he had quoted her verbatim without embellishment.
That being said, it didn't mean Aidan should give up on people and trust no one at all. People needed friends in this world. "Well, one person's betrayal doesn't-"
"We'd been best friends since junior high school," he said between clenched teeth. "We're talking twenty years of friendship flushed away in three seconds because someone was willing to give him five thousand dollars." He curled his lip bitterly. "Five grand. That's all my friendship over the years was worth to him. Funny thing is, I'd have given it to him if he'd just asked."
Leta cringed in sympathy. No wonder he was so bitter. She knew such things went on, but as a rule the gods of dreams didn't betray each other like that-especially now that their emotions were gone. There had been a few over the centuries, but not many, and they had been an exception who had been hunted down and killed.
Aidan narrowed his eyes on her, "Now tell me again how you can be trusted when you just walked through my door."
She held her hands up in surrender. "You're right. You can't trust me or anyone else. Never in my life have I understood why people betray others. I don't guess I ever will."
He scoffed at her words. "Like you've never betrayed anyone."
Leta quickly countered with a simple question. "Have you?"
"Hell, no," he roared as if the very thought sickened him. "My mama taught me better."
"And so did mine." She paused before she added, "Actually, that's not true. My brother taught me better. And when we were under fire, he did his best to protect me no matter the cost to himself."
"Then you're lucky. My brother sits in jail for his attempt to take my life."
That unexpected bit hit her hard. "What?"
"You heard me." His voice broke even though she saw no emotion except anger in his expression. "Didn't you read about it in the papers? For six months, I couldn't watch TV without seeing his face staring at me from his mug shot."
Since she couldn't explain why she hadn't heard it, she simply shook her head "I don't understand. Why did he try to kill you?"
He gave a dark laugh. "Oh, killing me would have been far kinder than what he did. He wanted to take everything in this world that I'd built. He was trying to blackmail me."
"Over what?"
"Nothing more than his own willingness to lie and people's gullibility to believe it. He said he'd make up everything from I was a pedophile to acts of animal sacrifice to brutality against women and children. He even went so far as to accuse me of mocking my fans and attacking the reputations of other actors, producers, and agents. No part of my life was spared from his lies and he didn't hesitate to forge documents or to lie to the courts or the police. Thank God, McCarthy-ism is dead or I'm sure I'd have been blacklisted and imprisoned."
That didn't make sense to her. "But that's just stupid. Who would believe such ridiculous lies?"
"Everyone who's ever been jealous because it's my face in the magazines and not theirs. Every person who can't believe or accept that someone can reach my level of success without being a total prick. Trust me, it's not the lies that hurt people. It's the willingness of everyone else to believe them. And then there are those who come out of the woodwork to back your accuser because it gives them the spotlight for three seconds. They can't stand the fact that you've risen above your past and that they have no excuse for never rising above theirs. In their minds, you need to be taken down a notch and they need to be raised a few, off the lies they tell about you. Because in the end,they know you,they've seen the real you, and by backing your accusers, they make other people think that maybe they were close to you-at least that's what they claim. It's a sick world and I'm disgusted with it."
She flinched at the fury and hurt that bled from every part of him.
He was right; there was no way she could argue with him. Life could be cruel and people were even more so. There was so much agony inside him that she should be grateful for the strength it gave her.
But honestly, she wasn't. His emotions were so potent that they were feeding her even in this realm.
And those emotions made her want to weep for him and the hard layer of ice that encased his heart. No one deserved such isolation. No one.
Wanting to comfort him, she reached out and took his hand in hers.
Aidan closed his eyes at the softness of her skin on his. It burned him to his core. It'd been so long since someone had reached out to him in kindness that he wanted to savor the sensation of her gentle touch.
But he knew better.
Kindness today... a kick in the teeth tomorrow.
Don't you ever forget that again .
No one would protect him. Everyone had shown him that when the fires came blazing down around him. He'd been left alone, bereft of friendship, family, and kindness.
And he was too scarred by it to simply move past it and trust again. The wounds were too deep and damaging.
Reminding himself of Heather, he moved away from Leta to look out the window. Damn the snow. It was still coming down, even faster than before. "You should try the phone again."
"I just did. It's still not getting a signal."
He'd once considered that a drawback. How many times had he wanted to talk to his brother when the signals went down? He was so far away from everything that the phone company had refused to run a line to his cabin. So he'd relied on his cell phone, which was haphazard in this area at best.
Now he wished he lived in the middle of city so he could toss her out on the very ass that was making him crazy with lust. God, how long had it been since he last smelled a woman this close to him? Heard the sound of a feminine voice inside his house, saying his name?
It was heaven.
And the lowest level of hell.
"Look, I admit you seem like a decent person. For all I know you stop and move turtles out of the road whenever you see one to keep someone from running it over. But this turtle is tired of having his guts spattered on the pavement while other people drive right over him. I just want to scrape myself up and hide in the woods, okay?"