‘Shall I tell you something? I never thought you were the sort of conventional person who’d ever come out with stuff like that.’
‘I’m glad to have introduced you to a new side of my personality.’
‘I’ve seen lots of different sides of your personality over the past few weeks...’
‘Should I be uneasy when you say that?’
‘You said that we needed to talk.’
‘I don’t remember putting it quite like that.’
‘Not in so many words...’ She shrugged. ‘But I’ve developed a knack for reading between the lines.’ She sighed and sifted her fingers through her hair. ‘I guess this is as good a time as any to decide what...what’s going to happen once the baby’s born. It needs to be out in the open. I mean, there are all sorts of decisions to be made.’
‘Yes. There are.’
‘For starters, you’ve got a life to lead—a life that’s waiting out there for you.’
‘What makes you think that you know what sort of life is out there waiting for me to lead it?’
‘I feel like you’ve been forced to put your whole life on hold to move in here with me. It’s been a sacrifice.’
‘For you?’ Sergio drawled. ‘Or for me?’
‘For...both of us...’
But since when was it a great sacrifice to be living with the guy you loved, who was looking out for you? Taking care of you? What pregnant woman didn’t want to be treated like a piece of china? If she could only box up all the other anxieties that went along with that scenario...
Sergio flushed darkly. He wondered when his priorities had shifted and marvelled that he had failed to pay due attention to this sea change. He had mistakenly thought that the bombshell had been her pregnancy. He’d been wrong. The fog of confusion he had earlier dismissed returned and then cleared, and in the clear light he could see the precipice over which he was dangling.
She was fidgeting, her fingers playing with the cotton of her loose jogging bottoms. She had only just conceded in the past couple of weeks that she needed proper maternity wear. Before that she had banked on elasticated waistbands to do the trick.
‘It’s been worth it, hasn’t it? Having me here?’
‘You can be very reassuring.’
‘Is that all you have to say on the subject?’
‘What else is there to say?’ Susie cried, suddenly wanting this dreadful conversation to be over and done with, and angry with him for drawing it out with pointless questions.
The businesslike arrangement he so approved of might have taken a bit of a knock, but she wanted him to bring it back to the table now, so that she could get her head around it before the baby came.
‘Do you want me to present you with a medal because you took time out of your hectic lifestyle to supervise me and make sure I wasn’t getting up to anything that might harm the baby?’
‘I’m not looking for medals.’ Maybe this wasn’t the time to be having this conversation after all. ‘And I don’t want to stress you out, Susie. That’s not my intention.’
‘I’m not stressed out.’
She breathed evenly, deeply, clearing her head and trying to fight her way past the fog of unhappiness that threatened to smother her—because she didn’t want to think about what was going to happen tomorrow, or next week, or at the end of the month. She wanted to wallow in the present and, yes, pretend that the present wasn’t going to turn into the future. She wanted to be a coward for a little bit longer.
‘And there’s no need for you to be so darn gentle with me, Sergio. I’m not going to fall apart at the seams just because you want to clear the air and sort out the details before life gets busy with a baby. I want that too! So—you’ll move out and you can come and visit as often as you like. You’d just have to give me notice. I don’t want you showing up out of the blue and expecting a cup of coffee. I know you bought the house, and I know right now you have a key, but I’ll expect you to return the key when you leave. For good.’
She was holding herself ramrod-stiff. The deep breathing obviously had a way to go when it came to relaxing her. It didn’t augur well for labour.