Nevertheless, reluctant and resentful as she might be at his intrusion into her happy, solitary and peaceful existence here, it was still going to happen.
‘There are four bedrooms in this house, Susie...’ He couldn’t veil the simmering frustration that had crept into his voice at the thought of, for the first time in his life, planting himself somewhere where he wasn’t wanted. ‘I don’t think it will be an insurmountable problem if I use one of them. And if memory serves me right there are two en suite bathrooms, so there will be no danger of our crossing paths first thing in the morning with toothbrushes in our hands.’
Susie blushed, guiltily aware that he was putting himself out for her and doing it without complaint. It would be a far more laborious commute for him to get to work in the mornings, and if he chose to work from the house, that too would be a huge sacrifice.
Why did she always emerge feeling like the villain in the piece?
Because she wanted so much more from him, and wanting more made her edgy...made her sound ungrateful for the little things he did...even for the big things he did. Because, however big they were, they weren’t big enough.
‘Just relax about it, Susie. It’s no big deal and it won’t be for long.’
‘Because when the baby’s born you’ll clear out?’
‘What else would you want?’ he asked brusquely.
For a heartbeat, she played with the idea of throwing caution to the winds and telling him that actually what she wanted was a ring on her finger and him in bed beside her every night, for them to grow old together. What she wanted was for him to be madly in love with her, and it would be weak and stupid ever to think of settling for anything less.
But when she thought of him tonight...the way his safe, solid presence had taken away all her fears and made her feel secure...
‘Good. Okay.’
‘I’ll even take the load from your shoulders by helping with the cooking,’ he said, and shot her a slanting smile that set her whole body alight.
‘Is that a threat or a promise?’
‘You have my solemn word that I’ll consult recipe books before I decide to fling a few things into a pan.’
‘I guess it would be nice to have somebody cook for me.’
She was a woman built to share her life with someone, and that fact was brought forcibly home to him when she said that, her voice wistful. Hard on the heels of that thought came a less pleasant one, and that was that the person she would end up sharing her life with wouldn’t be him—even though between them they had created the new life growing in her stomach.
‘No stress. Remember what the consultant said? And I don’t like the thought of you spending hours in that studio of yours, doing painstaking work.’
‘I move around a lot,’ Susie confessed. ‘I draw and paint a little, and then I stretch my legs and wander around the house to make sure my muscles don’t decide to seize up on me. Besides, I’m nearly finished with my commission, and the next one is for a children’s book so it’ll be far less detailed. In fact I shall probably be able to do a lot of it in front of the telly. Sergio, there’s no need for you to feel that you have to micromanage every single aspect of my life because I’m pregnant.’
Sergio ignored that. ‘Are you all right to stay on your own tonight?’
‘Of course I am—and that’s just what I’m talking about!’ She took a deep breath. ‘In fact,’ she said evenly, ‘I’m so tired I shall probably fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow.’
Unlike all those other times, when bed had signalled a lot more than falling asleep.
A rush of jumbled thoughts crowded into her head, jostling for space. Memories of being touched by him combined with the stress of the past few hours, the security she had felt at having him at her side, the relief at having received the all-clear...the sadness of realising that he truly saw her as nothing more than a responsibility, the helplessness at wanting more and knowing she would never have it.
Her eyes darkened and she licked suddenly dry lips. He was staring at her and she was rooted to the chair, unable to move a muscle. Except for her heart. Her heart was the only thing moving, beating inside her so fast and so hard that she wanted to faint.