She looked at him feverishly when he reappeared a few minutes later. She would have to make it clear that she understood the ramifications of what was happening and what might happen given a worst-case scenario.
‘They’re ready for you—and don’t look so terrified.’ He slanted a crooked smile at her. ‘It’ll be just fine.’
Susie nodded dumbly. And if it’s not?
‘It may not be,’ she mumbled unsteadily. ‘There are a thousand different things that could go wrong.’
‘It isn’t helpful to start looking for everything that could go wrong. Let’s just hear what the consultant has to say. We’ll know better how things stand once they scan you.’
Sergio was realising that he had lived a charmed life, casually assuming that whatever he wanted, he would get. The life of someone in complete control. He was realising that he had never felt afraid. He was feeling afraid now. She didn’t have to tell him about all the things that could go wrong. He knew them all. He had done more than peruse that book he had bought. He had read it from cover to cover and could have written a thesis on mishaps that might occur.
‘I can’t help it,’ Susie whispered. He had taken her hand in his and his fingers curled reassuringly around hers. ‘I meant to ask you something...’
‘What?’
Where the heck were these people? Shouldn’t they be rushing around, taking care of this situation? Instead of slacking off at some workstation somewhere, gassing and telling jokes?
He forced down a sudden surge of anger and held on to what the consultant had told him: that in the absence of bleeding there was almost certainly no need to worry, that they would move as quickly as they could but that several unexpected emergencies had recently occurred, ensuring that all the available rooms for scanning were occupied.
‘Have you found someone else?’
For a few seconds Sergio was dazed by the irrelevancy of that question, but she was staring at him with wide-eyed earnestness, waiting for an answer.
‘Where the heck did that come from?’
‘It’s just something that’s been playing on my mind,’ she said, breathing unevenly. ‘And, while we’re on the subject, I just want you to know that if you have there’s no need to try and hide it from me.’
And no need for him to feel any responsibility or pity towards her if this pregnancy failed. Her thoughts were chaotic, but she had a sudden, pressing urge to make him understand that.
‘This is not the time or the place to be having a nonsensical conversation like this,’ Sergio told her roughly. ‘Just concentrate on staying calm and optimistic.’
‘I’m very calm and optimistic.’
‘You’re the most infuriatingly stubborn woman I’ve ever met. I don’t suppose you’re going to put this conversation to rest until I give you an answer, so I might as well oblige. Even though you do pick the most ridiculous moments to launch into your “Meaningful Conversations”...’
But maybe this was her way of distracting herself from negative thoughts about losing the baby—who was he to argue with her? He wasn’t the one lying on a narrow, hard bed waiting for a scan...
He ran his fingers through her fine, silky, unruly hair and then cupped her face in a curiously tender gesture that made her feel as weak as a kitten.
‘When the heck do you imagine I would have the time to find another woman?’ he asked.
‘Is that a no?’
‘It’s a no.’
‘Because it’s okay—you’re a free man,’ she pressed on feverishly.
‘I get what you’re saying.’
‘I hope so, Sergio. Because if...if...’
Her voice wobbled, and there was no chance to say what she felt she had to say because they were interrupted by the arrival of a brisk nurse and the consultant. In the doorway, another nurse was waiting at the ready.
A room was now vacant but would not be for long, they were told on their way down in the lift.
‘Never rains but it pours,’ the consultant said wryly. ‘Three heavily pregnant women with sudden complications and a couple of tricky caesareans—in addition to the usual range of deliveries. And Siamese twins tomorrow.’ The consultant’s face brightened at the prospect of that. ‘You might have read about it recently? Right... Here we are... Nothing at all to worry about, Miss Sadler...’