Being five foot four, prone to looking round, with wild blonde hair that strenuously resisted the call of straighteners was always going to be a challenge to smart outfits.
But she had bought a dress and now, sitting cross-legged on her bed, she stared at it without really seeing it at all.
Of course Sergio wouldn’t be going with her. Even though they had now been seeing one another for nearly two months—two blissful, sexy, passionate months.
She felt a lump in her throat and tears begin to gather at the back of her eyes, because soon it was all going to have to draw to a painful close. Painful for her, at any rate.
She had only gone and disobeyed his orders not to get involved, not to see what they had as anything more than what it was—fantastic sex. It was the lynchpin of their relationship. They couldn’t keep their hands off one another. He had confessed that he was surprised, because he had expected it to fizzle out after a couple of weeks, and she had taken that to mean that however good the sex was she really didn’t have what it took to hold his interest.
Not the way he held hers. The way that made her want more...the way that made her think of commitment and permanence...the way that made her crave a future and plans that went further than what they were going to do the following evening.
She wouldn’t be seeing him tonight because he was in New York, clinching a big deal. He had been gone two days and he would be gone two more, conveniently over the wedding weekend, so she hadn’t even had to skirt round the issue.
Not that he would have volunteered to come anyway. She had grudgingly confessed that the reason she had been so idiotically tempted into online dating had been to see whether the love of her life might have materialised out there, so that she could show him off at her cousin’s wedding and kill all those muted whispers about when she was going to find herself a decent guy.
He had grinned and told her that he had never heard such a crazy reason for dating losers who went online to see what they could catch.
She lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, considering her options.
Next to her was the little stick with the bright blue lines announcing that her life as she knew it was over.
Pregnant!
He had been beyond careful every single time they had made love except for that very first time, when he had moved inside her and then withdrawn almost immediately—but not fast enough, because he had left behind enough of himself to create the little tiny life that was beating away inside her now.
He was going to go mad.
He was going to run faster than a speeding bullet.
Oh, yes, he would do the decent thing by her financially, but he didn’t do long-term relationships.
She was facing a sea change and there would be no one by her side. Her parents were going to be disappointed. Her mother would shake her head and try to find a silver lining somewhere. Her father would make noises about her moving back home to live with them—although they spent most of their time out of the country anyway, so it wasn’t as though they would be around for babysitting duties. She and Alex had had nannies from birth, so it was unlikely that a surprise grandchild would suddenly convert her parents into the sort of people who would enjoy pushing a pram in the park and feeding the ducks.
And Alex would be disappointed as well. How could you have been so careless? Contraception is free, Susie! So that this sort of thing can be prevented! She could almost hear her sister’s voice ringing in her ears.
Disappointment all round.
A wave of self-pity washed over her. Just when she was beginning to build up a steady base with her freelance work, just when she was on the verge of getting a commission from one of the museums to illustrate the natural history section for a book to be brought out the following year...
Her cell phone buzzed and she glanced at Sergio’s number and debated whether she should just let it ring. He had called her at least twice a day since he had been in New York.
‘Hi.’
She couldn’t resist hearing the deep drawl of his sexy voice. Even from across the Atlantic it still managed to do weird and wonderful things to her tummy.
But she knew that she sounded flat, and she decided that she didn’t care because soon there would be no more of him anyway.