Fresh tears squeezed out of my eyes. Because of me, so many people had lost their lives. How I was ever going to process that fact, I didn’t know.
I wasn’t going to process his death. No. I wasn’t going to accept the fact that he was dying, not until there was nothing left for me to save his life. My hand pushed deeper on his hand and Gavril let out a low moan, causing me to start to pull back. “No,” he grimaced, his free hand sliding from my arm to grip my wrist and force the pressure back. “Keep the pressure on it. Whatever little blood that’s left—I need for it to stay in my body.”
I bit back a sob, pressing even harder than before. “Just hang on, will you? Oleg is on his way.”
Gavril gave me a weak smile, one that threatened to tear my heart in two. “I love you. Fuck, I wish I had said it more, accepted it sooner.”
“Gavril, please,” I begged him, brushing his hair off his forehead, the cold clamminess of his skin scaring me now. He looked like death. “Don’t talk. Save your strength.”
He gave me a look that told me he wasn’t going to listen to me at all. “Don’t forget what I said,” he rasped. “About your next steps.”
“You aren’t going to leave me!” I fought back. “I won’t let you do that!” God wasn’t going to take him away from me. I had just found him. We had just found each other. This couldn’t be punishment for the sins we had done.
I needed Gavril in my life.
He gave me a faint smile, pain leaching out of his eyes. “I need to tell you goodbye, moye serdtse.”
“No, no. You don’t get to do that,” I firmly told him, my heart wrenching in my chest. “I won’t listen, Gavril. This isn’t the end.”
“It is,” he answered, his jaw clenched tightly. “Tell—tell our child that his papa wishes he had been there.”
Despite what was going on, I let out a harsh laugh, the sound grating over my throat. “You think it’s a boy?”
“Perhaps a little bit of hope is mixed with my words,” he answered, his voice faint. “There’s so much I need to tell you.”
I shook my head, my chest feeling as if it was caving in. This had to be a dream. Gavril couldn’t die. He was too strong, too stubborn to die. “I didn’t waste my entire life,” I told him, my free hand coming up to cup his cheek. “For you to do this just when I found you, Gavril. Fight. I need for you to fight.”
He opened his mouth to say something and I froze when blood dribbled out, dashing it quickly away. “Fuck,” he groaned, realizing what had happened. “I love you, Naomi. I love you more than anything in this fucking world and you have to live for our child, for my family, for me.”
“Gavril, please,” I begged. “Please hang on.” Where the hell was Oleg? He should have been here by now! I knew that only minutes had crawled by, but it felt like hours, hoping that Gavril could hang on just long enough to be saved. “I love you,” I whispered to him as his breathing grew ragged. “I love you, Gavril Kirilenko, for as long as you will have me.”
Though he had closed his eyes, Gavril’s lips lifted in a quirky grin. “Good thing I want you forever, then.”
A laugh sputtered out of my mouth and I pressed my forehead to his, feeling the warmth of his blood still oozing over my hand. “Please, please don’t leave me,” I begged. “God, please, save him.” I would give anything to have Gavril survive this and be with me for the rest of my days. Nothing else mattered. The Bratva could go hang themselves if it meant that Gavril would become whole again.
Jon was dead, no longer a threat to our relationship.
To our love.
It had to be enough.
“Pakhan!”
My head snapped up as I heard a male voice echo throughout the house. “In here!” I yelled, looking down at Gavril. He was deathly pale. “Gavril, wake up,” I urged, shaking his shoulder. “Come on. Open your eyes for me.”
Nothing.
Frantic, I put my fingers to his neck and was relieved to feel a thready pulse. He was still alive, but barely, and if we didn’t get him to a hospital, he wasn’t going to hang on much longer.
Footsteps pounded down the hall before a tall man appeared at the doorway, his words dying in his throat as he saw Gavril. “Fuck,” he breathed, hurrying over to me. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I forced out, my eyes pleading with him. “Please, he’s dying. We have to get him to a hospital.”
Oleg’s jaw clenched, shaking his head. “He can’t go to a hospital. I’ve got someone on the way.”
“No!” I shouted, my voice climbing an octave. “Don’t you realize he’s dying! He needs medical attention. He’s—” My words left me as I felt the weight of what was happening and how helpless I was going to be if Oleg kept pushing back at me. I couldn’t save Gavril.
A hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. “A doctor is on the way. Trust me, Naomi. We aren’t going to let him die. It’s not his time.”
The dam burst then, and gulping sobs wracked my chest. I couldn’t lose him.
Life wouldn’t be the same without him, not now, not ever.