Chapter 12
Ash drew up short as he saw Kyrian in his upstairs office through the slightly ajar door. It was well after four a.m. and though Kyrian occasionally stayed up late with Amanda, it was unusual to find the former Dark-Hunter up alone.
Cocking his head, he watched through the crack as Kyrian bent over a stack of papers, pulling at his hair. Ash could sense the frustration.
He knocked lightly on the door so as not to startle him.
Kyrian looked up, then pulled the glasses off his face. "Oh, hey," he said in a low tone as Ash pushed the door open a bit. "I thought you might be Amanda, begging me to come to bed."
"Not for all the money in the universe," Ash said as he walked in. He moved to stand in front of the black, kidney-shaped, Chippendale desk where official papers and handwritten notes were scattered. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I couldn't sleep. I..." Kyrian ground his teeth.
"What?" Ash asked, worried about his long-time friend.
Kyrian let out one long, tired breath. "You have no idea what this is like, Ash. How hard every day is. Do you even remember being human?"
Ash set his backpack down on the floor as he heard Kyrian's thoughts. They were disoriented and panicky.
Normally, Ash wouldn't answer any questions about his past, but his friend needed comfort; in all honesty, given the crap that had gone on tonight between Nick, Simi, Zarek, Tabitha, the Destroyer, and Daimons, so did he. "Yeah, I remember being human, but I do my damnedest not to dwell there."
"Yeah, but no offense, you were young when you died. You have no idea of the responsibility I carry."
Ash had to bite back a bitter laugh at that. If Kyrian only knew...
He'd trade fates and responsibilities with the former Greek general in a heartbeat.
"Look at this," Kyrian said, pushing a sheet of paper at him. "Forget the damned Daimons, the scariest thing on this planet are lawyers and insurance brokers. My God, do you know the statistics for traffic accidents? I'm terrified to put my kid or wife in the car at all. My medicine cabinet that used to hold nothing but toothpaste and bandages now has Advil, Sudafed, Bengay, Lipitor, and Benicar. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol-"
"Well, you did abuse your body for the last forty years with junk food."
"I was immortal!" Kyrian snapped, then his face went ashen. "I'm going to die again, Ash. Only this time, I doubt Artemis will be there to offer me a trade." He raked a hand through his hair. "My wife is going to die one day, and Marissa..."
"Don't think about it."
Kyrian's eyes snapped at him. "Don't think about it? That's easy for you to say. You're not going to die. And death is all I can think about, especially since Amanda keeps having her nightmares. I'm human now. I can't protect them like I could before."
"That's why Kassim and I are here."
Kyrian shook his head, then reached for his glasses. "And I hate these damned things that I have to wear so I can read all the fine print that's designed to steal my soul even more effectively than the goddess did. What happened to me, Acheron? Yesterday, I was the baddest thing stalking the night. The Daimons trembled in fear of me. Now what am I? I'm so pathetic that I have to bribe Nick to slip beignets into the house and hide in a closet to eat one so Amanda doesn't find out and ream me a new one. I have sinus problems. My back aches at night if I sleep wrong. My knees are shot to hell and yesterday when I bent over to pick up Marissa, I almost fell. Growing old really sucks."
Ash gave him an arch stare. "Are you telling me you want to go back?"
Kyrian looked away sheepishly. "At times I do, and then I look at my wife and I think what a selfish bastard I am. I love her so much that it hurts deep down in places I never knew existed. Whenever I think of her being hurt or Marissa... I can't breathe. I can't live. I hate feeling helpless. I hate knowing that I'm going to grow old and die on them."
"You're not going to die, Kyrian."
"How do you know?" he snapped.
"I won't let you."
Kyrian scoffed at him. "As if you could stop it. We both know I have no choice except to die as an old man... if I'm lucky and make it that long and don't drop dead of a heart attack, car accident, food poisoning, or a million other catastrophes." He hung his head in his hands.
Ash truly felt for his friend. It was hard to be human. Hell, it was hard to live at all.
Life was definitely not for the meek. Every time something seemed to go right, at least three or four things had to go wrong. It was just the law of nature.
"Amanda's pregnant again," Kyrian breathed after a small pause.
In spite of the dire tone, Ash sensed his happiness. And his terror. "Congratulations."
"Thanks." Kyrian looked at the stack of papers on his desk. "I'm trying to get my will in order, just in case."
Ash stifled an urge to laugh at his fatalistic friend. "You're not going to die, Kyrian," he reiterated.
He knew Kyrian wasn't listening to him. He was too busy fixating on all the things that could go wrong with not just Amanda and the baby, but himself.
"Will you be the baby's godfather again?" Kyrian asked quietly.
"Of course."
"Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I have to have this in with the attorney and insurance company tomorrow."
"All right. Good night, General."
"Night, Acheron."
Ash pulled his backpack up from the floor and shut the door as he left. He paused in the hallway to find Amanda standing in her bedroom door, wrapped in a cream bathrobe. There were tears in her eyes.
Ash closed the distance between them. "You okay?"
She shrugged. "Is it like this for all of those who regain their souls?"
Sighing, he nodded. "It's hard to readjust. You spend hundreds to thousands of years thinking you literally have all the time in the world where nothing can touch you and your body never hurts for more than a few hours, only to become mortal and realize that you only have thirty or forty years left if you're lucky. You're now susceptible to death and disease just like everyone else. It's not an easy mindset. The first real paper cut damn near kills them."
A single tear went down her cheek. She wiped it away and sniffed daintily. "I wish I had left him as he was. I wish you had told me this would happen."
"Told you what, Amanda?" he asked. "That the two of you would spend the rest of your lives loving each other? Raising your kids? Neither one of you have any idea how miraculous your life is. How many people would gladly sell their souls for what you have. Forget Artemis and immortality. What you have is infinitely more precious and rare."
His heart clenched as his anger at both of them swelled over the fact that they were doubting their love and whether they had made the right decision. "Even I would trade all my immortality for one single day of what you two have."
He took her scarred hand into his and held it up so that she could see the place where Kyrian's soul had burned her hand when she returned it to his body. "I asked you once if he was worth it. Do you remember what you said to me?"
"I would walk through the fires of hell to die for him."
Ash nodded. "And I would walk through the fires of hell to keep you both safe."
"I know."
He tightened his grip on her hand. "Do you really wish you had left him to his Dark-Hunter life?"