It was something he could never allow her to do.
Heartsick, he crept along the shadows, toward the stairs.
"Would you two stop fighting!" Esmeralda shouted.
Kyrian paid them no more heed as he went up the stairs.
Several minutes and a truckload of insults passed before Amanda realized Kyrian was gone. "Kyrian?"
"He went upstairs," Esmeralda told her.
Amanda started for the stairs, but Tabitha stopped her. "You can't do this to yourself."
"You know nothing about him, Tabby. He's a Dark-Hunter, not a vampire."
"Yeah, and Julian Alexander said there's no real difference between them. They both have animal qualities and are killers."
"I don't believe Julian said that."
"I don't care if you believe it or not, it's true. And while you're mulling that one over, let me tell you another thing Julian said. Artemis will kill your boyfriend before she ever lets him walk free."
Her heart screaming a denial, Amanda pulled away and went upstairs. She found Kyrian in the bedroom gathering up his things.
"What are you doing?"
"Leaving."
"You can't go outside. It's just after noon."
His face was blank, cold. "I called Tate."
"Kyrian..." She reached out to touch him.
"Don't touch me," he snarled, baring his fangs to her. "You heard what Tabitha said. I'm an animal, I'm not human."
"It wasn't an animal I slept with last night."
"Wasn't it?"
"No." She laid her hand on his cheek.
She saw him savor her touch for only an instant before his face went rigid. He removed her hand from his cheek. "You say that, Amanda, and yet do you know how many times I've had to pull back from sinking my teeth into your neck? How many times I have felt your blood under my tongue and have craved a taste of it?"
She swallowed in fear. But she refused to give in to it. He was only trying to scare her off. "You have never hurt me and I know you would die before you did."
He said nothing as he grabbed his suitcase and left her.
She followed him down the hall, to the top of the stairs. "You can't leave like this."
"Yes I can."
She pulled him to a stop before he could descend down to the foyer. "I don't want you to leave me."
Kyrian paused at her words. Words that tore him apart. He didn't want to leave her, either. He wanted to toss her over his shoulder, carry her back to the room, and make love to her for the rest of eternity.
He wanted the right to claim her. The right to have her.
But it wasn't meant to be. He was a servant to the goddess. His life wasn't his own.
"Go back to your world, Amanda. It's safe there."
She cupped his face in her hands. Her bright blue eyes searched his with such an aching need that it made him hurt all the more. "I don't want safe, Kyrian. I want you."
He pulled away from her tender touch and headed down the stairs. "Don't say that."
"Why not?" she asked, following him. "It's the truth."
"You can't have me," he said between clenched teeth as he whirled on the stairs to face her. "I'm already owned."
"Then let me love you." The plea in her voice ate at his will. Gods, how easy it would be to open himself to her. To take her into his arms and...
Watch her grow old while he stayed the same. Hold her in his arms when she died of old age and left him to live out eternity. Alone.
The pain of the thought was enough to cripple him. Life without her was not something he wanted to contemplate. And if it hurt this much to let her go after only a couple of days, how much worse would it be in a few decades?
It was more than his wounded heart could bear.
"You can't."
"Why?" she asked.
"Some things are not meant to be."
She touched his arm, her eyes begging him to see her side of things. But he couldn't. He didn't dare.
"Maybe this is meant to be."
"You're wrong."
A knock sounded on the door.
Amanda watched as Esmeralda opened the door. Tate wheeled his stretcher in.
The resigned, pained look on Kyrian's face as he saw the body bag would be forever etched in her heart.
"Don't leave, Kyrian," she begged one last time, praying this time he would listen.
"I have no choice."
"Yes you do. Damn you, you stubborn man. You do have a choice. Don't leave me."
He rubbed his hand over his eyes as if he had a throbbing headache. "Why do you want me to stay?"
"Because I love you."
Tabitha's angry curse rang from the kitchen and was followed by silence so loud, it was deafening.
Kyrian closed his eyes as agony assailed him. He'd waited an eternity to hear a woman say that to him and mean it.
But now it was too late.
"The last time I believed a woman loved me I gave up an empire for her and watched her laugh while I was crucified. Don't be a fool, Amanda. Love isn't real. It's an illusion. You don't love me. You can't."
Before she could argue, he nipped gracefully into the body bag and zipped it closed.
"Don't you leave me!" she shouted, grabbing his arm through the thick plastic.
"Get me home, Tate."
Tate gave her a sad smile as he pushed the stretcher through the door.
Amanda growled her frustration. "Damn you, Kyrian Hunter. Damn you."
Kyrian heard her muffled words. They tore through him. He was such a godless fool.
Don't leave her , his heart begged.
But he had no choice.
This was the path he had chosen. His decision had been made with full knowledge of the consequences and sacrifices.
Amanda belonged to the light and he belonged to the darkness. Somehow, he would find a way to reclaim his soul without her, and once he did, he would kill Desiderius.
Amanda and Tabitha would be free and he would return to the life he knew. The life he had sworn himself to.
But deep in his heart, he knew the truth. He loved her, too. More than he had ever loved anything else in his life.
And he had to let her go.