“Are you trying to distract me?” he asked.
“Maybe,” I answered. “And maybe I’m giving you something to look forward to when you get back.”
Our eyes snagged, and that was when I dropped down to my knees, feeling the soft carpet of the library brushing over my bare skin.
“Jesus Christ, Journ.” He hissed as I licked his tip before gripping him at the base. An evil smile slid onto my face, and I had forgotten how good it felt to do this when your heart was actually involved. I wasn’t doing this for me. I was doing this for him. “When did you get so good at this? You know what, don’t answer that. I fucking love it.”
I wasn’t proud of what had happened at the psych ward, which he was well aware of, but before I’d been taken there, Cade always took charge. I was naive, innocent, and inexperienced last year. That wasn’t who I was anymore, and I felt safe enough with Cade to explore a little further and blur every line that was there before.
“Good,” I said, plunging him into my mouth, sucking and moving over him to bring him to insanity. There was something so powerful in making a guy wither from pleasure because of you. I felt wanted, and I chased the high just as quickly as he was.
Cade’s hand fell to the back of my head as I sucked him deeper. There was something salty that hit my tongue, which only propelled me to work harder.
“Eyes on me.” His hoarse whisper made me ache, and when I peeked up at him, I licked the tip of him, tasting him even more. “Fuck,” he grit out, shutting his eyes for a brief second. I took him in my mouth again, and his hand tightened around my head. “Why are you so fucking hot on your knees?”
I wanted to smile, enjoying the way I was making him lose himself, but instead, I took him in farther, hitting the back of my throat. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his hand pulling my hair. Why do I love making him lose himself to me? It was a delicious high—a high more powerful than when he was bringing me to the edge, if I was being honest. I loved that he was out of control. I loved that he pumped into my mouth without holding back. And I loved swallowing every bit of him as his body shook in ways that only I could summon. When I was done and his hand had untangled from my hair, I wiped my swollen lips and smiled up at him, climbing to my feet.
Cade’s eyes were blazing. The hungry, untamed look in them had my smile dropping as he gripped my hips and slammed our bodies together in a frenzy. My leg was suddenly wrapped around his hip, my plaid skirt flying up, allowing his fingers to grip my bare thigh. “I fucking love you,” he said, biting onto my earlobe, which was something he knew I liked.
A small moan left me, and when Cade’s fingers found my wet panties, he sucked on the skin below where he’d just snagged with his teeth. “Does it turn you on when you suck me off, Journey?” He huffed out a laugh. “Who would have known that innocent Journey, who I deflowered on the lacrosse field all those months ago, would turn into this?”
He pulled his hand out from under my skirt, his other hand still gripping my thigh tightly, and inspected his fingers. They were wet, and months ago, that would have made me blush, but now I felt just as wild as he did.
Isaiah’s voice called down the aisle, and Cade’s devilish stare froze on me. “Stop fucking. We have to go. The car’s out front.”
“Damn,” Cade said. “Looks like we’ll have to finish later, yeah?”
I was too worked up to nod, and I had forgotten all about the fact that he was about to go meet his father. I hoped that he had forgotten for a little while, too.
Just as Cade lowered my leg to the ground, he plopped his two fingers into his mouth, sucking me off his fingers with a wickedly sinful glint in his honey-colored eyes. The light was back in them, and it was burning me to my core.
“Mmm,” he moaned, pecking me hard on the lips. “My favorite flavor.”
He buttoned his jeans as I stood back against the bookshelf, feeling a skip in my chest. I could still taste him on my tongue as he bent down low to whisper over my ear. “Thank you.” Then, he turned around and began walking toward where Isaiah had yelled from.
“Don’t do anything reckless, Journey. I expect you to be smart and to stay safe. That means no fucking sneaking out.”
I grinned. “Yes, sir.”
“Have you heard from them?”It was a question I’d been holding in since Gemma came into my room an hour ago. We’d never really hung out alone, but surprisingly enough, it was comforting to have her near. Sloane wasn’t there as a buffer because she was in the library, helping Tobias with something he was struggling with in class. Mercedes had said she was studying in her room for the night, but I had my suspicions on that. So, Gemma and I sat inside my room in soothing silence as we both finished our homework.
Gemma put her pencil down and peered up at me from her position, lying on my bed. “Not since Isaiah had said that they arrived. I don’t think they can have cell phones in there, so he hasn’t texted me back.”
I nodded, looking back at my laptop. The nerves that I had erased earlier when Cade and I were in the library were beginning to show, and they were crawling up my back like a million little ants. I felt trapped, like I was back at the psych hospital, not knowing what was going on in the outside world.
I shifted my attention past my essay on the screen and looked at the shelf on my desk that held the file I’d stolen from the headmaster’s office. My stomach tightened further as I pulled out the paper that Cade had given to me, with Sister Mary’s warning that I had been in danger since the moment I was born.
Keep her safe.
There was a notch on the inside, like a little burrowing hole of invisible information that I didn’t have but needed in the worst way. Sister Mary crossed my mind multiple times a day, and I’d caught myself wanting to leave St. Mary’s altogether to make sure that the girls at the orphanage were okay without her guidance, but I knew that was a stupid decision. Headmaster Ellison was always quick to remind me that I needed to stay away, desperation always hinting at his words.
The paper floated down to my desk as I peeked over at Gemma who was staring at me. I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t ask to read what was in my hand or question my silence. She’d always been good at letting information come to her, instead of fishing for it, like everyone else.
“Do you think that their fathers will even tell them anything?”
Gemma closed her book and slowly sat up on my bed. Her brown hair was up in a high pony, and when she reached up to tighten it, she brought her knees to her chin. “Honestly? Not unless they threaten them.”
My brows furrowed. “Threaten their fathers? How? They’re already in prison for life, right?”