Oh good, the voice in my head is back. It's been a hot minute since he put his two cents in. I hate to admit it, but that is pretty accurate. I know she’s angry and hurt, but what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? I sigh and watch her as she leans against the barrier, looking ahead at the view of the city.
I walk over and stand beside her. She continues staring ahead, not even acknowledging me. The sun was setting, and the sky was a mixture of red and purple, exceptionally beautiful, but that’s not what I’m staring at.
The woman standing beside me was something out of this world. Despite all the shit she’s been through, she’s still so fucking beautiful it’s insane. No make-up on, her dark hair out and blowing back with the gentle breeze, her full, soft lips parted. God, I want to kiss her so fucking bad it hurts. I came close earlier at the restaurant but managed to stop myself somehow. It wasn't easy. It’s always hard with her. I feel like God put her in my life to torture me emotionally and physically.
“What do you want, Damien?” She sighs, keeping her eyes straight ahead. “You clearly want to say something, so say it.”
“We’ve got quite a bit up in the air between us,” I say, looking ahead too. “I know you’ve noticed, but I’m not a guy that’s too in touch with his emotions.” I rub my neck awkwardly and sigh. “I clam up when shit gets too real and ignore it, hoping it will just go away if I don’t deal with it.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
I sigh heavily and frown at the resentment in her tone. “I’m going to give it to you straight.” I blurt out, and she looks at me curiously. “I’m just not cut out for the whole relationship thing and doing the job that I do…I can never plan my future because I’m not expecting to have one or live long enough to have a family of my own. I can’t think of anything worse than dying and leaving behind a child because I promise you, it's fucking awful growing up without parents.” I tell her earnestly. Ezra shifts beside me and looks up at me.
“I understand your reasons, Damien. I know your issues stem from you losing your parents at such a young age.” She voices, dropping her gaze to her feet and tucking her hair behind her ear. “I never imagined my life ever turning out like this. I imagined that when I would be married, the man I love would be excited to share a life with me.” I look at her, and she wipes away tears that spill down her cheeks. “I’m tired, Damien, and I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to keep going as we are.” She shrugs and looks ahead again. “I get it, so you don’t have to worry; you won’t be burdened with a wife for much longer.”
I sigh and turn to her before I pull her close and turn her, so she faces me. I lift her head and brush my thumb along her jaw. “I want you to know that whenever I picture my life happy…it’s with you. You’re my definition of happiness, Ezra. You’re my perfect.” I brush my fingers through her hair, and she closes her eyes at my touch.
“I just wish I was the type of man that was worthy of your love, but I’m not, babe. You deserve to have the life you always imagined with the kids and happy marriage, and that’s not me—I can’t give you that not now…not ever. This is who I am and who I have to be.” Ezra opens her eyes and looks up at me, tears pooling in her beautiful blue eyes. I cup her face and press my forehead to hers. “I can’t be your prince charming. In this fairytale, I’m the ugly beast that never gets the princess.” I whisper, wiping away her endless tears with my thumb.
Ezra sniffles and shakes her head. “Damien, it doesn’t have to be like this.” She looks up at me, her eyes pleading, curling her fingers around my wrists. “You can just quit the agency, and we can start over together.”
“Ezra, I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Even if I wanted to, there’s no way to quit the agency without breaking the oath, and once that’s broken, you pay with your life. It’s an oath taken by blood, and the only way out is by blood. You think it’s bad now, they will have every hitman on their books hunting me down until I am killed, and they won’t just stop at me; they will kill you too because you know about the organization.” I explain, and Ezra looks at me, horrified. “I won’t risk them hurting you. I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep them off your tail so that you’re safe.”
“We’ll leave the country then; go someplace far enough that they will never find us.” She suggests, and I shake my head.
“They will find us. The agency is much bigger than you think, Ezra. It’s a worldwide organization. It would only be a matter of time before they track us down. We’ll be looking over our shoulder constantly, and you don’t want a life like that, believe me.” Her shoulders slump, defeated, and she jerks out of my hold. I watch her as she begins pacing the balcony.
“There has to be a way.” She mutters, pacing frantically. “We’ll speak to James. He seems like a reasonable guy he might hel—” I catch her as she walks by me, tug her to me and kiss her. She squeaks in surprise, but a second later, she relaxes and kisses me back.
Fuck it. I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s fucking torture. We both moan when the kiss grows heated rather quickly, tongues dueling passionately, I curl my fingers in her hair and bring her as close as possible. Ezra’s hand rest on my chest, her fingers curled into my t-shirt, clinging to me desperately. When I feel my lungs burn with lack of oxygen, I begrudgingly pull back and end the kiss.
“What was that for?” Ezra pants after a couple of seconds.
“You were ranting,” I answer, and she blinks up at me, frowning. “And I really wanted to kiss you.”
“Oh,” She pulls her head back and peers up at me, her brow raised, and she sighs. “You’re a very puzzling man.” She tells me, and I smile down at her and tweak her nose.
Only because I’m incapable of leaving you alone, pretty girl.
“I’m also a very horny man,” I smirk, scooping her into my arms bridal style and carry her back into the apartment.
“Hey! Oh my god, you’re impossible. I am not sleeping with you!” She exclaims as I carry her to the bedroom and kick the door shut.
“Sleeping? Oh, there will be no sleeping honey.”
“Damien! Put me down right now!”
“Did you just bite me?”
“I hate you.”
“Course you do. Now, let’s get right to your punishment…”
“What punishment—Ohhh!”