Viola
Apparently, my name is on a list of people to call should something happen to the Dukes. I’ve no idea why.
I listen to Lorcan’s lawyer explain what the situation is, and then calmly wake Jude and Dino. We go to Eton General Hospital in Jude’s car and sit in a stark white waiting area with hard plastic seating and filter coffee. After a few hours, we find out they’re transferring him so we drive to Victoria Peace—a private clinic for rich pricks who need their own helicopter landing pads—and wait some more.
Usually, I hate hospitals. I hate the smell. I hate the sounds. I can’t even deal with the people. They already look dead, like fucking zombies. But this hospital is like a damn hotel. This time we’re in a private plush room with a large screen TV, a cold fridge and cupboard stocked with snacks, and a high-tech artisan coffee machine.
The walls are soft hues of pinks and greens with cosy pastel furniture. King size beds in large rooms. Bright ensuite bathrooms. Leafy plants dotted everywhere. There’s even a spa that I saw signs for as we came in.
We wait for a long time. Too long. Dino says fuck all as we wait. He keeps sighing, and holding his head in his hands. His black eye looks better, but overall he doesn’t look great. Jude can’t sit still. He gets up and comes over to me. As soon as his lips touch mine, I’m lost in his kiss. Then he walks out, declaring he needs air.
“Where the fuck are you going” Dino calls after him.
“To get a fucking drink,” Jude growls. Then he’s gone.
Eventually, Dino catches my eye and shakes his head. “This is all my fucking fault.”
I can’t be bothered correcting him, so I let out a breath and look out the window at the serene looking zen garden perfectly placed in the middle of a 360 degree glass atrium.
“That’s it?” Dino continues.
I turn my head back to look at him. “Is what it?”
“You’re not going to say anything?”
“I don’t see the point. What’s done is done.”
“How are you like this?”
“Like what, Dino? What am I like?”
“Like you’re a fucking robot. Do you have feelings, or are you so broken you’re just as dead inside as that psycho who did this.”
I’m saved by a youngish looking doctor appearing in the doorway. I half listen as he explains how the surgery went and what the outcome is likely to be. He doesn’t really give anything away. No good news or bad. Just the facts.
Dino soaks up every fucking word. He lowers his head, closes his eyes, and looks like the world has ended but he’s putting on a brave face for it. I know from experience, I don’t look like that. Unless I fake it. Unless I dig deep for some memory of what I’m supposed to act like, and pretend.
Maybe I am dead inside.
Dino leaves to get Saskia. She wants to see her brother.
I stay.
I don’t have the energy to face them both.
I’m running on empty.
The doctor takes me to Lorcan’s room. It’s walls and soft furnishings are blue and sea grey, and it’s much bigger than the others. There’s a lounge area for guests, and it even has its own goddamn kitchen.
As the doctor leaves, I shift my gaze to the bed. If it wasn’t for the equipment surrounding, beeping every so often, keeping him alive, I would think he was asleep. He hit a deer on one of the minor roads around Windsor. Saskia was thrown from the car and survived. Lorcan was almost crushed, barely surviving. The deer wasn’t so lucky.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do since he’s out cold—induced sleep while his brain heals—so I just stand there staring at him until a nurse comes in to check his vitals.
“You can sit down if you like,” she says, a cheery fucking smile plastered on her face.
I sit because if I don’t, I’m going to look like I don’t belong.
She heads out as though to leave, but stops before. “Some people find talking helps.” When she’s finally gone, when everyone has gone, and it’s just Lor and me in an empty room with that fucking beeping machine, I breath easier. And I’m finally able to look at him.