“What kind of changes?”
“Here, turn and look at me. I want to see your face when I talk to you.”
Isabel adjusted herself so she was sitting on the couch with her legs still in his lap. Micah reached for her wine and handed it to her, then took her foot into his hand and began massaging the arch. It felt divine.
“I don’t want things to change between us. Izzy, you mean the world to me and my business, which is why this is complicated. I’m not a long-term plan for anyone, but if you would be willing, I’d like to be a short-term plan for you. From now until the end of this ‘engagement’, I want to be with you... completely.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve already made it clear that I won’t be with anyone else, and I’d like to know you agree to the same thing.”
“That’s not something you have to worry about Micah, I would never cheat on a partner, even if the relationship is a fake.”
“Good. I also want you to be mine in every sense of the word.” Micah slowly and gently caressed the bruised mark on her neck as she shuttered under his touch.
“Did you leave my bed last night?”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“I needed some space to think, so I thought it would be easier to sleep in the guest room.”
“Was it?”
“No.”
“I don’t want you to leave me at night. I want to push you, Izzy, push the boundaries of this thing between us because I honestly think we both need that. But if we do, then I need you to agree to stay with me after. I need to know that you will let me hold you and make sure everything is okay. I need that from you.”
“You do?”
“Yes, and I want you to be comfortable enough with me so you will tell me what you need too. These... activities may be strenuous physically, but it will be hard emotionally as well. You told me last night you were mentally with me the whole time, but then you left. I wasn’t prepared to find you gone this morning.”
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t think it would matter to you.”
“Iz, we may not be in an actual relationship, but I consider you a friend and I care for you greatly. I worried this morning that you were ashamed of what happened between us.”
“I wasn’t ashamed, I just... I don’t know what it was, really. Having space and getting to work early seemed like a bit of normalcy that I needed. But once I left you, I couldn’t sleep, and when I got to the office, I couldn’t really work. My mind was a bit of a mess.”
“Next time, I want you to tell me.”
“I will.”
“So here’s the hard part; when this is over, it needs to be over. We both need to agree that whenever we plan the big break up that we bring this to an end as well. It’s the only way we can go back to the way things were. We make a good team Izzy, and I can’t afford to lose you.”
The words stung, but they made sense. Hell, this morning while getting dressed, she had worked herself into a panic attack at the thought of losing her job. She needed this money. Her mom’s health wasn’t the best, and she had no insurance. They paid the house off, but living in Miami wasn’t cheap. Isabel’s income was the only thing they had to survive on, and other employers may not be as forgiving about her past. She polished off what was left of her wine and handed Micah the glass before reaching her hand out to him.
“Deal.”
“Just like that? No questions?”
“No. Last night was amazing. It fucked with my head a bit, but I worked through most of that today. I can’t lose this job and feelings would just fuck things up. I’m fine with a good old ‘friends with benefits’ situation, as long as it has an end date. It’s less stressful than trying to figure things out as we go.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
She smiled at him, still as confused as ever. Her heart seemed to beat out of her chest, but her mind was finally calm. If only she could get everything in sync for once in her life, she would feel a million times better about everything.
“Now what?”