Sofia gave me a quick smile before she lifted the hem of the green bridesmaid dress and hurried back to church.
I headed toward the door at the end of the hallway and knocked.
It took almost a minute for Anna to answer. “Come in!”
I slipped in, my heart beating faster upon seeing Anna in her wedding dress. She was impossibly beautiful. But then my eyes landed on her face, and it was off. She was smiling at me, but it was a smile I never wanted to see from my daughter, especially on her wedding day.
It was forced and careful.
“You look beautiful,” I said slowly as I closed the door so we could talk in private.
“Thank you. The dress is very beautiful.”
“It’s stunning.”
I’d been a bit disappointed when Anna had chosen not to design her own dress, nor the bridesmaid dresses. She had so much talent and it would have made her special day even more special.
I walked up to Anna’s side and touched her shoulder. “Is there something you want to talk about?”
Anna gave me an amused look. “Please don’t give me the talk, Mom. It’s a little too late for that.”
I gave a quick laugh. I wasn’t caught up in some old-fashioned fantasy that Anna hadn’t made certain experiences while she was abroad. I actually hoped she had, considering Clifford hadn’t held back either. “I know. That’s not what I meant. Maybe you have something else you want to talk about.”
Anna’s expression didn’t give anything away. She reminded me of Dante in that moment. She could be hot-headed and stubborn like myself, but when it really mattered, she became Dante. Her expression softened at the look on my face. She shouldn’t be the one feeling like she needed to console me. “I’ll be fine, Mom. Today I’ll do my duty like every member of our family has always done.”
We’d raised both Anna and Leonas with a strong sense of duty and responsibility. Anna had accepted it outwardly, determined to do us proud. Leonas was more vocal with his protest, and often fought against any kind of rule. With Bea, we’d allowed more freedom, and I sometimes wondered if we should have done the same with Leonas and Anna.
But duty was such a big part of our existence…
“I want you to be happy, more than anything.”
“When you agreed to marry Dad, you didn’t think you could be happy.”
I laughed. “Don’t use my story as yours.” I paused. “I wasn’t emotionally drawn to anyone else. That’s a big difference.”
Anna gave me a curious look. “Neither am I. I don’t have feelings for anyone. I’m sure Clifford and I will find a mutual understanding that’ll make our life agreeable.”
“Spoken like a true politician’s wife.”
“I practiced.”
I nodded but felt even sadder after Anna’s words. Anna was such a passionate woman. I wasn’t sure the confines she was agreeing to in a marriage with Clifford would really suit her. “I met Sofia in the hallway. She told me you still feel guilty because of Santino.”
“I can’t help it but I can handle it, Mom,” Anna said smoothly.
I sighed. “I’ll always be on your side, Anna. No matter what. I know you feel like you can’t share certain things with me, but nothing you could do or say would make me love you any less. From the second you made me a mom, my love for you has been unconditional and it’ll always be.”
“Mom. I can’t cry now.” She hugged me briefly. “I’ll be fine. But thank you.” She didn’t release me immediately. “I love you too.”
I swallowed, wanting to say so much more, but Anna was right. I shouldn’t make her cry. A knock sounded.
“Come in,” Anna said, sounding more composed than I felt.
Dante poked his head in, looking mildly concerned when he found Anna and me close together, and the hot feeling in my eyes probably didn’t go unnoticed either.
“The ceremony is about to start. Is everything okay here?”
His eyes searched mine, trying to find a silent answer to his question. I stepped back from Anna. He finally registered Anna’s dress and took another step in. For anyone who didn’t know him, it would look as if he wasn’t touched by the sight, but his eyes told me a different story. Anna was a gorgeous bride. She was how I’d imagined her. The only thing missing was that she was in love. It was something I’d always wished for her, but our world made impossibly difficult.
“Everything is fine,” Anna assured him with the smile she only had for him. It reminded me of her little girl smiles.
“You look very beautiful.”
“You should go now, or this wedding won’t ever start,” she told me with a teasing smile.
“I’d like another quick word with your mother,” Dante said.
I gave her a quick peck on the cheek before I followed Dante outside. He closed the door, then gave me a searching look. “What is the matter, Val? I don’t like the look on your face.”