Part of him wanted to leave, to put some distance between her and the tight feeling in his chest, but he also didn’t want to let that feeling win.
‘All right,’ he allowed. ‘But stay quiet.’
She nodded, giving him another quick smile then returning her attention to her stack of papers.
Cassius moved over to begin his inventory of the bonsai and the other plants. And it was with some surprise that he found himself not quite forgetting she was there, but finding her presence...restful. It was strange, given her general level of untidiness, but she was silent while she worked, the only sound the faint rustling of paper and the scratching of her pen.
A companionable silence settled over the room and some time passed...he wasn’t sure how long. The tight feeling in his chest had faded, the snide voice in his head quietening. He watered the last of his plants and then turned, moving over to the arm chair opposite hers and sitting in it.
She didn’t look up, still furiously writing something. Not wanting to interrupt, he relaxed, letting the silence and peace of the room seep into him. After a moment, Inara looked up from her work and gave him another of those heartbreakingly beautiful smiles.
‘You like working with a pen and paper?’ he asked, idly curious. ‘Not a computer?’
‘No. Writing it down myself helps me feel more...connected to whatever problem I’m working on. Which probably sounds weird.’
‘No weirder than a king who likes pottering with his houseplants.’
She laughed, the sound delighting him, as it had been a long time since he’d made a woman laugh.
‘It’s clearly good for you, though.’ She tilted her head, giving him a speculative look. Then she put aside her papers and pen, got out of her chair and came over to him.
He stayed where he was, curious to see what she intended. Probably a mistake, given his earlier thoughts on the subject, but he found he couldn’t bring himself to move.
He liked her being here. He liked being in the same room, both of them doing separate things, yet together. It made him realise that he hadn’t had the company of another person in quite this way for three years... No, longer. In fact, had he ever had this quiet, companionable feeling with another person? Even back when he’d been a prince, the company he’d kept had been of the loud, drunken variety, or soft, welcoming and female. And working quietly had been the last thing on his mind.
Inara reached for his tie and loosened it.
‘What are you doing, little one?’
‘Helping you relax.’ She pulled the tie away from his neck, bending over him to undo the buttons on his shirt.
He should stop her, he really should, because her scent was surrounding him, along with the warmth of her body, and it made him think of the previous night when he’d had her beneath him, panting in his ear...
‘I’m not sure taking my tie off will help me relax.’ He looked up at her. ‘In fact, I can safely say that relaxed is the last thing I feel with your hands on me.’
She wrinkled her nose, going the most adorable shade of pink as she fussed with his buttons. ‘I’m not talking about that. You’re always so...uptight. You could stand to be a little...looser.’
He wanted to pull her down into his lap, cover that gorgeous mouth with his own, and it was difficult to remember why that was a bad idea. Certainly, his brain had told him something of the sort earlier, but with her bending over him, so pretty and warm and human, he couldn’t seem to remember why that was such a bad idea. He couldn’t seem to remember why any of the things he’d been telling himself about following his father’s example and leaving a legacy was such a good thing. Not when she was here.
You know it’s not about leaving a legacy. Or even following an example. You’re punishing yourself, because it’s what you deserve.
Inara’s fingers were warm at his throat, brushing his skin as she pulled open the buttons of his shirt, but he felt suddenly cold, as if all the blood in his veins were icing over. He’d reached up to brush her hands away before he could stop himself.
Instantly Inara straightened, her expressive features tightening. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...’
‘It’s fine.’ He pushed himself out of the chair, all his good feelings draining away.
No, this had been a mistake. He should be back in his office, preparing for this ball, not here in his study, indulging himself.
Indulging himself. That had always been his problem.
‘It’s not fine,’ Inara said. ‘What did I do?’ She was standing in front of him, blocking his path to the door, her grey eyes full of concern.
‘Nothing,’ he said curtly. ‘Move, please, Inara. I have to get back to work.’
Something flickered in her gaze, that spark of challenge, the sign of a will that was becoming more and more formidable.
‘I did do something.’ She stayed exactly where she was. ‘You were fine until I undid your tie.’