‘Good.’ Then he flipped her over onto her stomach and covered her with his body.
Cassius kept Inara up most of the night, sating his pleasure and hers in as many ways as he could think of which, considering the wide breadth of his experience, was quite a few. Eventually she fell into an exhausted sleep and he let her, though he didn’t sleep himself.
He was content to hold her, aware of nothing but how good her warm, silky body felt against his, and how calming he found the soft, regular sound of her breathing. It was good, too, to think of nothing. To be nothing more in this bed than a man holding a woman.
But as dawn came he knew he couldn’t afford to stay being a mere man, that he would have to be King again in a few short hours, and he couldn’t prepare himself adequately for that while she was in his arms.
So he shifted without waking her, slipping from the bed and pulling on his trousers, moving out of the bedroom and walking down the stone corridors to his study.
The first rays of morning light were shining through the windows, the sound of the sea wild outside.
It was his morning ritual to tend to his plants. It calmed his mind and settled him for the day ahead, allowing him to put aside his own petty concerns and feelings and to become the king he needed to be.
It usually worked.
But this morning he couldn’t concentrate. His mind was too full of Inara and the memories of the night before. Of her skin beneath his hands and the delicate scent of her arousal. Of her cries and sobs of pleasure and the husky way she’d said his name. The way she had made good on her promise, letting him do whatever he wanted to her, and clearly loving every moment of it. There had been no fear in her, only absolute trust. It had shone in her eyes so brightly, it made something in his chest ache.
He didn’t deserve it. He’d married her because it had made him feel good that she’d looked at him as if he was her saviour, not out of any real concern for her, and then, apart from a few visits, he’d forgotten about her. For years. Then he’d tried to get rid of her with a divorce, only reluctantly agreeing to stay married when circumstances had forced him to...
But that’s you all over, isn’t it? You only take responsibility when you’re forced to.
Cassius gritted his teeth, trying to get his thoughts under control as he examined the small azalea he was in the process of sculpting.
He shouldn’t be thinking about this. He should be thinking about the day ahead and the things he had to do, not his own personal failings—of which there were many, naturally, but he didn’t let them get in the way of his job.
He’d dedicated the last three years of his life to not doing that.
But aren’t you doing it again? Letting her get to you?
Cassius snipped off a small branch. No, a delay in settling his thoughts was not letting her get to him. Another half an hour and he’d be fine. He wouldn’t think of her again for the rest of the day.
She needs more guidance. What are you going to do? Ignore her for another week? Sabotage her chances of being the kind of queen you wanted?
Without thinking, Cassius snipped off another branch, realising only at the last minute that it wasn’t one he’d meant to cut. Muttering a filthy curse, he tried to haul his mind back to the task at hand and not let it get distracted by Inara, but then he heard the sound of the door opening then closing behind him.
He didn’t turn. He knew who’d come in. He could smell her warm scent getting closer, making his body harden instantly.
‘What are you doing in here?’ Inara asked.
He wanted very much to drop his scissors, turn round and take her back to bed to replay some of his favourite memories from the night before, but it was morning. A new day. And in an hour or two his presence would be required and he would need to act like a king instead of a hormonal teenage boy. He’d have to explain his abrupt absence from the ball the night before, for a start.
‘I’m preparing myself for the day,’ he said, without looking around. ‘Go back to bed, little one.’
Inara ignored him, coming closer, and then a small, warm hand rested lightly on the bare skin of his back.
‘What kind of tree is that?’ she asked curiously, peering at the azalea on the shelf in front of him. ‘It’s very pretty.’
Every thought went straight out of his head. All he could think about was her hand on his skin and how it made him burn. How it made him want. As if all the desires he’d successfully managed to contain for years were in danger of bursting out.
She’s put a crack in your control.
No, that wasn’t true. He hadn’t been at all controlled the night before, admittedly, but that had been purposeful. He’d consciously put being a king aside and let himself be a man for once.
He could put the man aside at any time. It wasn’t a problem. Still, he shifted minutely, causing her hand to drop away. His attention was on the tree, but he could feel the surprise radiating from her. He told himself he didn’t feel the warmth lingering on his skin from her casual touch.
A silence fell.
Cassius made another precise snip with the scissors.