"Killian," I whisper, though I'm not sure if I'm objecting to the way he's speaking to me or if I'm encouraging him to keep going. He's blunt, but his words don't sound crude. Just honest. Yesterday, I thought he was hiding entire volumes behind his eyes, but I was wrong about that. At least partially. What you see is what you get with him. There is no guessing where you stand. He just tells you outright. But there is still something lurking deep within those eyes, something I recognize. Loneliness. I think this man is as starved for as affection as I have been.
"You're so goddamn pretty when you're feeling shy," he says, speaking so softly I'm not sure if he's talking to me or just to himself. But then his lips lift into another tiny smile. "Get your magic code done, baby girl. I'll go find us some lunch."
He's striding toward the door before I can say anything. I watch him go, my heart pounding against my ribcage. Part of me wants to gather my things and make a run for it before he sends all my walls tumbling and gets too close.
In my life, there is no permanence. People are temporary. They come and go, and I should be used to that by now because it's been that way since I was little…but it still breaks my heart a little bit every time it happens. Dom and Summer are the only ones who have ever stuck around.
I want Killian to stick around too, with a desperation that's completely foreign to me. But I'm terrified he'll be temporary too. And that makes me feel vulnerable as hell.
He's going to break me…own me. I'm going to let him do it. Because even though getting close to him scares the hell out of me, not getting close scares me even more. I barely even know him, but I know instinctively that I'll regret not getting close to him more than anything. Even if he breaks my heart in the end, I want to know him, and I want him to know me too.
My phone buzzes with an incoming text from a number I don't recognize. As soon as I click on it, I know immediately that it's from him.
Stop overthinking it, baby girl.
I hesitate for a long moment and then fire off a simple response.
Okay.
When Killian returns with lunch, I'm hard at work on the code, trying to tweak it to his specifications. He sets lunch up at his desk before pulling me out of my chair to eat.
"I need to finish this one line first," I object, but he completely ignores me, leading me to his desk with a hand on my back. "Killian, I need to finish it."
"After you eat."
I glare at him.
"Dom said you forget to eat."
"I do not…" I trail off when he shoots me a look full of authority. "Fine, maybe I forget sometimes, but it's not that big a deal. I'm not starving. Obviously."
His brows wing together. "What does that mean?"
"I'm a big girl, Killian. I'm obviously not missing many meals."
"Big girl? What the fuck?" He scowls at me, looking for all the world like a pissed off devil. "Who the fuck told you that?"
"The mirror? Life? Everyone?" I shrug a shoulder. "I know what I look like. Society doesn't let you forget what you look like when you look like I do." They all assume that you're big because you eat too much or because you're lazy. I stopped caring about their opinions a long time ago, but it's doesn't change the fact that I'm curvy. It might not bother me, but it bothers a lot of people who express concern about my health like it's any of their business. I may be overweight, but I'm healthy. I eat well and exercise.
That doesn't stop them from making assumptions.
"They're fucking idiots," Killian growls, getting all up in my personal space. One big hand goes around my waist, yanking me up against him until my body collides with his. He tips my head up with a finger beneath my chin, forcing me to face him. "You're a knockout, Liberty."
Jesus, he's hard everywhere. The bulge in his pants is obvious. So is the fact that his entire body is ripped. A shudder wracks my body, a quiet moan escaping my lips. A forest fire flares to life inside, burning me up.
He studies me for another minute and then presses his lips to mine in a hard kiss, one big hand gripping my ass. "Dreamed about this body all night," he says against my mouth. "You've got me all tied up in knots, baby girl."
My core clenches at his honesty, at the way he grips my ass so possessively, like he knows it belongs to him. "Me too," I whisper, touching my tongue to his bottom lip.
He bites mine in return. I grasp onto his shirt and practically mewl into his mouth.