“Let it be mine too. Together. We are supposed to do this together.”
He doesn’t say anything, only shakes his head once more before pulling into his parking spot at the Bullies’ house. I clear my throat. “I know you think you can handle everything, but that isn’t fair. I don’t know how many times I gotta tell you this is a partnership, but I will till I’m blue in the damn face,” I yell and he leans his head back. “Are you even hearing me right now?” I ask, tears stinging my eyes. “I just want to alleviate some of the stress.”
“I can’t let you,” he roars and I cower toward the door as he sits up, demanding my attention. “Avery, I can’t let you because I don’t know if you can handle it. Do you know what it would do to me if you started cutting again? Or if one day you just decided you wanted to die because it is all too much to handle? I can’t fucking do it.”
My jaw drops and my heart just stops. “Jace…”
“No. It kills me inside. I can’t ever let you get to that place. I will take on everything, fight every single one of the battles alone, as long as you are happy and feel loved. I don’t want you to feel alone, I don’t want to you worry, I don’t want you to think I don’t have this, because I do. Even though some days I’m pretty sure I don’t. But I can’t tell you that because I’m scared… I’m so fucking scared I’ll fail you.” He stops, sucking in a breath, moving his hands through his hair and then down his face as my heart just aches for him. He’s been dealing with so much, but he didn’t reach for me.
“I sit up at night, praying I do right by you, that I don’t get hurt so I can give you and our child the life y’all deserve. Yeah, it’s been sucking, but I won’t fail you, Avery. I just fucking won’t. So yeah, I’m not asking you for help, but it’s not ’cause I can’t use it, I could. But I love you too much to let you. I need you to be healthy and happy. I can do it all. I know I can.”
Reaching out, I take his hands in mine and squeeze. “But you don’t have to,” I stress. “Jace, I’m fine. I’ve never been happier, and yeah, I have a shitty past of being weak. But don’t you get that since I met you, I’m not that girl anymore? I don’t even think about it, I don’t even crave it, I love my life too much to ever end it, baby.”
“But if it gets bad, if you start to hate it—”
“I won’t,” I say, my lips curving up. “Not when you’re in it.”
He drops his head, shaking it as he sucks in a breath. “I just want to make you happy.”
“You do, Jace,” I whisper, lifting his head so I can look into his sorrow-filled eyes. “But you gotta let me help. We can do this together. Let me take some of the stress. We can figure it out. Together. No more battles fought alone, only together.”
He holds my gaze, his lips trembling, and he slowly nods. “Okay. I’m sorr—”
“Don’t you dare. What are you apologizing for? Loving me? No, don’t you dare.”
The side of his mouth quirks up as he cups my face. “I love you, Avery Sinclair.”
“I love you too,” I whisper as my mouth presses to his. Closing my eyes tightly, I can’t believe this man is my husband. This big, thick-headed, headstrong man is my everything. And while he’s frustrating as hell, he has a heart of gold. Parting, I gaze into his eyes and I shrug. “So we wait for something to open up here.”
His grin falls as he shrugs. “Coach said you can’t stay over more than twice a week. Someone complained.”
My heart sinks. “Then you can stay with me if you have to, but we can sleep apart.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I don’t either, but I won’t have you looking bad in front of your team or getting in trouble.”
He nods. “We’ll figure it out.”
&nbs
p; “We will. Together.”
He sucks in a breath and lets it out. “Together.”
Leaning his head to mine, he kisses my nose and my eyes drift shut, so in love with this man. I’m not even worried or scared. Yeah, it will suck to sleep apart, but we will be okay.
When a tap comes to the window, we both look over to see a cop standing next to the door. “What the fuck?” he asks as he rolls down the window. “Officer?”
“Are you Jace Sinclair?”
My heart jumps into my throat, because I’m sure this cop doesn’t want an autograph from the number one prospected draftee.
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m gonna have to ask you and your friend to get out of the car. Clear it out. It’s being repossessed.”
Jace’s brows crash together. “Repossessed? My dad got me this car.”