“Ella—”
“Don’t,” I sob. “Don’t say it. I already know…”
My mom stays with me while
I cry, but gets up a few minutes later to “use the bathroom.” But I know what she’s doing; she’s taking a drink. It’s an old trick she used to use when I was young. I discovered it when she would always come back smelling like mouthwash.
I feel more alone than I’ve ever felt. At least before Sasha came into my life I felt like I had a handle on things and could manage them. Now I don’t know what to do. He’s gone, my mom’s worse than ever, and the life I saw opening up in front of me has just slammed shut like a steel door.
I get maybe two hours of sleep and wake up feeling sick. My whole life seems like a lie now as I look back. Did my father really love me? How could he do such horrible things and come home to me and my mom and live a lie?
Then a sudden realization stings me like a wasp.
My mom did know. Maybe not at first, but later. She found out, and that’s why she started drinking.
I whimper and brace myself against the bathroom sink. I never understood why my mom behaved the way she did, but now I do. Congratulations, Dad, you didn’t just hurt her, you hurt me too.
She’s sleeping on the couch when I come into the living room. I can tell she’s still drunk, because the sound of me making oatmeal doesn’t wake her. I’m on my way back into my room when there’s a knock at the door.
“Who is it?” I call out, expecting to hear an unfamiliar male voice—one of Mom’s latest “suitors.”
“It’s Sasha.”
Frozen. The muscles in my body go tight, and I almost drop my oatmeal. How did he find me?
Of course. I gave my address to his driver. Duh, Ella.
Setting my bowl aside, I stride to the door and tear it open to find him standing there in a pair of black pants with a black collared shirt, looking like the grim reaper.
I can’t help but glare at him with nothing but rage. I hate what he told me. I hate my mom. I hate the way I look right now. I hate the fact that I still care about how I look to the man who killed my father.
But most of all, I hate my father for betraying me for all those years.
My heart feels like it’s being torn apart from countless different angles, like there are many fishhooks embedded in the tender muscle, and I don’t know what to do. Luckily for me, Sasha does.
“Come with me, Ella. I’ll give it all up for you. The life. Everything. None of my actions will ever harm you again.”
It’s a bombshell. His truth has changed things—changed me forever. Can we really get past this?
“I hate that I had to be the one to tell you, baby. But I couldn’t lie to you. Not…not when I love you so goddamn much.”
My heart stops for a second.
“You love me?”
Sasha’s eyes blaze, and he pulls me close to him. “You’re goddamn right I do, Ella. Now come back home to me where you belong.”
Epilogue
Sasha
Four years later…
I couldn’t be prouder as I watch my girl walk the stage, grab her diploma, throw her arms in the air, and flash a smile at me.
She did it. Her dream degree in marine biology. She did it.
“Don’t cry, Helen.” I smile, but her mom’s already dabbing the tears from her eyes.