“I know it’s not fair, Princess. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do because it’s what’s best for us. Your mommy loves you so much and she has you go to bed at eight o’clock because you need your sleep. You want to be a fighter, right?” She nods.
“Well, if you want to be a fighter, you have to get plenty of sleep so you can grow. Did you know we grow in our sleep? So, you need your sleep.”
I know she gets it, but she wouldn’t be my Bella if she didn’t still state her case. That’s where her passion comes in. When she believes in something, she fights for it. I can’t even imagine what she’ll be like when she hits her teenage years.
“Okay, Daddy, but I still miss you and want to say good night to you.”
It hits me then that we have technology, and as annoying as it can be, it can also be very convenient. “How about we compromise? Any time I’m not home by bedtime, you can use your mom’s phone to Face Time me on my phone so we can see each other and say good night?”
Her entire face lights up and she sits up straighter like I just gave her free reign at a toy store. “Okay, deal! Just make sure you answer.”
I give her a kiss on her forehead and say with absolute conviction, “I will always answer your phone calls. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I will also make sure I’m here for you, I promise. Now, let’s read you that book.”
When I finish reading the book, Bella is passed out, holding onto my arm like she needs it to breathe. It doesn’t matter what I have going on, I need to make sure the only time I’m not here to tuck her into bed is if I’m away. Fuck, I can’t believe in a couple weeks I have to leave. It’ll be the first time I’ve been away from Bella and Liz since they moved in here. Sometimes it feels like I need them to breathe.
I walk downstairs to the living room to find Liz curled up on the couch reading, and I almost feel bad taking her away from her book, but I need some quality time with my woman. She sees me coming toward her and puts the iPad away.
“Hey baby, I thought you were going to be gone longer. Is everything okay?”
I sit next to Liz’s feet, dragging her body to me until she’s sitting on my lap. Then I wrap my arms around her body and drink in her scent. This right here is home, yet looking at this woman, I feel like I barely know her. Yes, I know the person she was when we met five years ago and the person she is today. She was and still is fun, and sexy, and so damn smart. She’s an amazing mother and friend, and she has the biggest, kindest heart. I mean, what woman goes to the man’s funeral who almost killed her daughter?
She cooks dinner for us every night even though I know it isn’t her cup of tea, and she works hard at the gym even though she knows how much money I have. Liz could easily stay home all day and let me take care of her, but she wants to earn her own way and be equal. What I don’t know is the person I missed out on for the last five years, the woman who was forced to grow up at eighteen because she was pregnant so young but still determined to make it through college. I want to know all about that woman.
“Tell me about the last five years.”
She seems a bit confused at my request. “What do you want to know?”
“I want to know everything. I want to know all about your pregnancy and Bella, every age, every milestone, and every detail. I hate that I missed out on so much, and I feel like no matter how much I try to catch up, I’m too damn far behind.”
“Um, okay. Well, after I found out I was pregnant, Kayla started coming with me to all my appointments. From the minute she found out, she never missed one. We would make sure they were on a day neither of us had school. I think the nurses and doctors thought we were lesbians. I had morning sickness for the first trimester, which totally sucked, but then it went away and the rest of my pregnancy was smooth sailing, thank God. At twenty weeks, I could’ve found out the sex, but Kayla wanted to know so badly I decided to wait. It was so much fun driving her crazy. She couldn’t even shop like she wanted to because everything had to be in neutral colors.”