I shook my head, utterly exhausted. I’d been waking up early and going to bed late, always busy with this and the kingdom, always challenged, for months now. The only breaks I’d allowed myself were to sleep and bang Nyfain. I knew I needed to slow down, but I’d wanted to get this done. I’d wanted to solve this problem and finally put the stigma of the demons behind us.
Dolion had left us alone since that last battle. He was likely preparing to meet us in the political sphere. We’d be heading into that fray soon, and I wanted Nyfain to be free of any demon taint when we did.
“I don’t have any other ideas,” I said as a tear overflowed. I wiped it away with the back of my hand. “This isn’t like the other times. I have literally zero other ideas. I have nowhere to go from here.”
Hannon put his arm around me. “You’ve said that before. You might not remember, but I do. You said it about the nulling elixir a million times. And look, you kept trying new things until you finally found the answer. You’ll do the same thing here.”
“Nyfain has been so patient with me. He keeps taking my trial elixirs, gets his hopes up, and nothing comes of it.”
“What do you mean nothing comes of it? He sparkles now. He matches your gold dusting on most of his body. He’s really proud of that, Finley. He’s happy every time his dragon walks beside yours. You’ve given that back to him.”
“But his flight—”
Hannon squeezed me. “He doesn’t care about that anymore—you told me so yourself. After winning all those challenges, and with all the other dragons fighting on the ground with the wolves, he’s happy and confident the way he is.”
“People hate fighting on the ground with the wolves,” I grumbled, knowing he was right.
Weston had taken on the alpha role, and he was excelling at it. All of the kingdom’s wolves were now a part of the pack, something that pleased Hadriel to no end, since he could stay with me and be part of the pack. The dragons were less pleased, which had led to many challengers taking on Nyfain over the past few months. They’d lost, all of them, from the ambitious young village dragons to the power-thirsty outsiders, thinking they could best him because he was ground-bound. In the end, Micah, who’d taken on the position of commander of the dragons, encouraged Nyfain to deal a killing blow to the next challenger. He’d done it, reluctantly, brutally, and there’d been no more challengers since.
The spectacle had also scared a little humility into some of the court dragons, most notably Xavier.
Our people, dragons and wolves and other shifters, had been learning to fight together on the ground and in the sky, and they were excelling at it. We, as a kingdom, were excelling.
“They don’t hate working together,” Hannon said. “They might whine, but most of them actually like it because of how effective it is. I can feel a change coming, Finley. Weston is an incredible alpha, and he is amazing at directing his troops. Most of the dragons haven’t worked with anyone like him. Even Micah is taking notice, and those two don’t really get along. If it were any other wolf, they’d probably still have a problem, but not him. They’re even mirroring his wolves’ strategies in the air. Nyfain would rather you take a break than kill yourself trying to grow back his wings. He’s told you that. I know he has.”
I took a deep, shuddering breath, and said what I hadn’t admitted to even myself before now.
“This is all that I am, Hannon.” Sobs bubbled up. “My ability to cure is the one thing that sets me apart from everyone else. I’ve cured friends, neighbors, strangers. It has always been my thing. It’s my identity, almost.” I paused to wipe my tears away. “What if I can’t cure the one person who means the most to me?”
Emotion dragged me down as Hannon hugged me, squeezing me tightly. He didn’t speak, just waited for me to purge. We’d each had our fair share of breakdowns over the years, and we knew how to navigate each other’s rock bottoms.
“I want to give that gift to Nyfain. I want to personally show him my worth, you know? Not to sell, or to help his subjects, but to benefit him directly.” I shrugged. “I just want to prove that I’m special in some way. That I have a right to be at his side. Giving him back his shimmer and wings felt like the key to that.” Another sob broke out of me. “What if I have nothing to offer but a bad attitude and the true mate bond that nature chose, not him? I’m common, and he’s a prince. I’m not meant for this role. Nothing is coming naturally to me. I’m trying my best, but I don’t fit here, Hannon.”