This time it was a full blown shudder that rippled down her spine. “Angelo.”
He was not even kissing her, but already her arousal was making her voice husky and her heartbeat quicken. He smiled. She didn’t know it, but they had just passed first base on their way to a home run.
CHAPTER FIVE
BY THE time they returned to the car, Tara was a mass of throbbing sensation.
Angelo and she had lingered in the garden for quite a while. He had shared a surprising knowledge of the different species of roses, having her smell them and feel the softness of their petals as he explained their differences.
All the while, he had been touching her and saying things in that husky, deep voice of his that promised the sun, the moon and the stars all wrapped up in one ultra masculine package.
As battle strategies went, it had been extremely effective. He’d vanquished her resistance and moved her toward surrender with the speed and efficiency of a well-armed, seasoned campaigner. It was the recognition of her comparative lack of experience that made her hesitate to give total surrender.
Could she really be sure of what she wanted and what was best for her when she was under the influence of his charismatic presence? When her hands were literally shaking with the need to touch him?
She turned toward him as his car slid into a parking spot in front of her brownstone and was struck anew by his sheer masculine perfection. So sexy. So strong. So much a man. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone, including Baron.
Which made it all the more imperative that she not dive into an emotional commitment without knowing where he was at in that regard.
She could remember all too clearly the times she had said she loved Baron and gotten no response or an, “I know.” She could see now that he’d only said the words to her when it suited his strategy for manipulation.
She no longer had such naïve illusions about love, but sex wasn’t a simple slaking of physical needs for her, either. It never could be. She needed to know that more than Angelo’s hormones were engaged. She wasn’t giving her body to another man without being sure he saw her as more than an occasional bed partner.
Angelo switched off the ignition.
“I’m not going to ask you up.”
He tensed and turned to face her, his jaw set, surprise making his eyes darken. “Why not?”
Time for total honesty. She sensed any attempt at prevarication would only give him the final leverage he needed to bring about her surrender. “Because if I do, we’ll make love and I’m not ready to do that yet.”
He reached out and cupped the back of her head, his thumb tracing the shell of her ear and making her tremble even more. “You want me.”
No way could she deny it. “Desire isn’t enough.”
“What is enough?”
She stared at him, nonplussed by the question. She hadn’t expected him to want to discuss the intricacies of a relationship. Most men shied away from that sort of thing.
But, goodness knew, Angelo Gordon was unlike any other man of her acquaintance. “I don’t want to be treated like a one night stand.”
Which was as far as she’d gotten in her thought process…or as far as she had allowed herself to go.
“I want more than one night.”
“How much more?”
“How much more do you want?”
“I’m not sure.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“I can’t quantify it.”
“Sure you can. What do you want? Protestations of love?”
She, who no longer believed in love, felt her heart rate double at the mention of the word. Was he saying he was falling in love with her? How could he be?
“What do you want, Tara? A promise of fidelity, or do you want more?” he went on relentlessly. “Perhaps an offer of marriage. Is that what you need to feel good about giving yourself to me? Commitment with a capital C?”
Was he saying he would give those things to her, or was he testing her, pushing to figure out the parameters of the deal?
“I just realized I wanted to pursue a relationship,” she said, frustration at being put so firmly on the spot lacing her voice. “How am I supposed to know what form I need it to take before I’m ready to be intimate with you?”
“You’re too smart not to know your own mind.”
Only right now, her mind was muddled by desire and the need to conquer fear. She doubted he ever got muddled in his thinking. Probably, he thought he was being extremely reasonable asking her to define what she needed, but he wasn’t the one with doubts. Somehow, she couldn’t see this man ever being the one with the doubts.