Cadence’s lips parted and she licked them before answering. “We did. We spent the entire summer there when I was eight. Mom worked as a tour guide.”
Johnny nodded, flipping the cigarette with his fingers. “Good.” He looked up at her. “And no, it wasn’t about you.” Her mouth opened to ask a question and he shook his head. “My turn,” he reminded her and she glared at him. “Will you show me your arms?”
My jaw clenched but I waited for Cadence to decide. She played with the hem of her sleeve before slowly rolling them up to reveal the brutal purple scars that twisted around her arms. “Eventually, they’ll fade and you’ll never know they were there,” she commented, spreading her fingers as she stared at her arms objectively.
“I’ll always know they’re there,” Johnny murmured hoarsely, his fingers fumbling with the lighter.
Cadence glared disapprovingly as he lit his cigarette. “You know those will kill you?”
“Not as quick as some things,” he replied, taking a long drag. Her expression never changed and he sighed. “You’re as bad as your mother,” he griped, grinding the cigarette out on the table. “She couldn’t stand them either.”
“Probably because they can kill you,” Cadence retorted dryly.
Johnny’s gaze went to her arms again and she pulled her sleeves down. “I didn’t mean,” Johnny started and Cadence shrugged nonchalantly.
“They’re distracting. It’s not a big deal,” she said coolly, causing Johnny and I to share a look. “I think it’s my turn now.” Johnny nodded slowly. “Why my mom?”
A reminiscent smile softened Johnny’s fierce expression. “She told me to fuck off.” Cadence made a choking sound and he nodded. “She did. I had stopped by the gas station to talk to Leroy and she told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t welcome.” His thumb scraped over his chin. “She was too young, too pretty for the likes of me, but God, she never took no for an answer.”
Cadence nodded, commiserating, “That never changed.”
“Loving her was easy,” he began, his gaze growing distant. “Losing her…not knowing what happened to her –” He exhaled, his eyes closing. “That was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced next to losing Ashley.”
Cadence’s forehead wrinkled.
“Ashley was your sister,” he explained. “She died a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Cadence said reflexively. “I can’t imagine.”
His mouth twisted. “I always wondered if,” he paused, shaking his head. “If maybe it was too much for your mama.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Cash had died and he’d asked me to take his boys if anything ever happened to him. I already had Ashley. Two more boys, plus keeping Crew’s momma in line, and watching out for Clutch….I thought maybe it was too much for Moira. Getting custody of Cord and Creed cost me a pretty penny.”
“He had to pay their momma off,” I mentioned, remembering my own momma complaining about ‘that greedy bitch’ for years after the fact.
Johnny shook his head regretfully. “I wish I’d known the real reason.”
“My uncle,” I surmised and Johnny flicked his eyes toward me.
“I would have killed him then if I’d known.” Johnny sat back, the chair creaking ominously. “We’re pretty sure he killed Cash. Moira must have been terrified he’d kill her next.” He shook his head. “Especially if he ever found out she was expecting.”
“You think he would have killed her?” Cadence was looking at me and I couldn’t lie as much as it pained me to admit the truth.
“Yeah, I think he might have. He wasn’t rational where your mother was concerned or the Rebels. It wouldn’t have mattered to him if it had been Cash or Johnny,” I theorized and she looked puzzled.
“Then why tell me Cash was my father? She knew he was dead when she left.”
I lifted my shoulder. “Maybe she was still trying to protect Johnny the only way she knew how…by lying.”
“Sounds like Moira.” Johnny fidgeted with the crushed cigarette. “I just wish she’d talked to me. Told me what was going on.”
“It would have been war,” I remarked and his lips flattened. “She would have known that. You would have been a cop killer. The town would have drawn sides.”
“Instead she left, always running, always afraid,” Johnny snarled. “Away from her family and everyone who loved her.” He stood up, the chair clattering as it fell backwards. “You think that was better?” He was breathing hard and I held up my hands in peace, understanding the pain he felt behind the fury.
“She was happy.” Cadence’s voice was small but the effect was mighty. Johnny’s shoulders shrank and for the first time I could remember, he didn’t look like a force to be reckoned with but a man who’d lost too much and the burden had become too heavy to bear. “I’m not saying she was happy she left you, but she was happy. Mom made the best out of everything. She always saw the positive. It wasn’t running away, for her it was always about the next adventure.”