‘Mila hasn’t spent a day by herself ever,’ Liam adds, and I nod. Just like Jinka, Mila was never alone.
‘She’s not answering her phone – and she always answers her phone,’ Aura-Blue says. She grimaces. ‘Even when she shouldn’t.’
‘We were hoping she was with you,’ Taylor says.
I shake my head. And that’s as far as I can stretch my strength. I have to sit down. I take a step to get to the couch, and my knee buckles. I feel Liam and Taylor catch me. My bruised arm complains, but the pain is a good thing. It keeps me here. They guide me around the sofa and help me sit.
‘She was fine when she dropped me off,’ I say. ‘Maybe she drove off the road on her way home? Have you checked?’
‘Her car is parked at her house, and some of her hiking gear is missing,’ Taylor says as he and Liam take seats on either side of me.
Aura-Blue stands in front of us, wringing her hands. ‘Did you see her out there on your hike today, or did she mention where she might have gone when you talked after work?’ she asks.
‘No,’ I say. Something doesn’t sit right. ‘If she took her hiking gear, why did you ask me if we went to a party?’ I ask.
Another look passes between Liam, Taylor, and Aura-Blue.
‘What?’ I snap, annoyed now. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
‘I told you guys, she really doesn’t know,’ Taylor says, laughing despite the situation.
‘Tay,’ Liam says sharply, silencing Taylor.
I look at Aura-Blue. ‘Tell me.’
She shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, glancing back at my stock-still grand parents.
‘Because you know the drugs come out of the woods, right?’ she says timidly.
‘Yeah, I know. In fact, Mila and I were talking about people making meth and fentanyl in the woods when we went for ice cream yesterday. But she was terrified of all that,’ I say.
Mila would never go out looking for Dr Goodnight just to prove to me he existed . . . would she?
‘You guys, she really doesn’t know,’ Taylor says, enunciating clearly so they actually listen to him. ‘She has no idea what working at the shelter means, AB.’
‘What does it mean?’ I ask slowly.
Aura-Blue takes a breath and just says it. ‘Some girls who volunteer at the shelter do it so they can buy drugs off the guests.’
My grandparents gasp, and Aura-Blue looks mortified to have to say this in front of them.
‘You can only score if you work out front. Back of the house is for the hardcore rehab people,’ she mumbles in their direction, even though they have no idea what that means. She looks back at me. ‘But you never tried to get moved out front. You never asked us to buy for you. You never went out with us, even though you were this big Manhattan socialite. Rob showed us y
our Instagram from a year or so back. You knew legit celebrities.’
She sounds so impressed. It makes my skin crawl.
‘At first we thought we were too D-list for you, and that’s why you always went home,’ she continues with a self-deprecating smirk. ‘Then later we realized you just didn’t party. We figured you had quit.’
‘What has that got to do with Mila?’ I snap, frustrated. ‘She wasn’t doing drugs.’
A look passes between the three of them. Aura-Blue shakes her head, confused.
‘Wait. Mila said she talked with you about how much she was using, and you told her not to worry.’
I couldn’t be more shocked if she’d slapped me. ‘We never talked about that,’ I say.
‘When she and I got into that fight that day,’ Aura-Blue explains. ‘After work at the shelter, when you came out to the car, and there was all that drama? Do you remember that?’