but hurried away as they left the room. Feeling guilty, Helen realized
that she hadn?t spoken to him yet. She hadn?t meant to ignore
him, especially not on the first day of school.
According to Claire, ?everyone? knew that Matt and Helen were
?supposed? to be together. Matt was intelligent, good looking, and
captain of the golf team. He was still sort of a geek, but because
Helen was practically a pariah ever since Gretchen had started
spreading rumors about her, it was a compliment that everyone
thought she was good enough for someone like Matt.
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Unfortunately, Helen never felt anything special for him. Zero
tingles. The one time they had been shoved into a closet together at
a party to make out, it had been disastrous. Helen felt like she was
kissing her brother, and Matt felt like he was being rejected. Afterward,
he was sweet about it, but no matter how many times he
cracked jokes, there was a weird tension between them. She really
missed him but she worried that if she told him he would take it
the wrong way. It feels like everything I do lately is being taken
the wrong way, Helen thought.
The rest of the morning Helen wandered on autopilot from class
to class. She couldn?t concentrate on much of anything, and every
time she tried to make herself focus she felt nothing but irritation.
Something about the day was off. Everyone?from her favorite
teachers to the few acquaintances she should have been happy to
see?was annoying her, and every now and again while she was
walking down the hall she would suddenly feel like she was inside
an airplane at ten thousand feet. Her inner ear would block up, all
the sounds around her would become muffled, and her head would
get hot. Then, as suddenly as it had come on, the discomfort would
go away. But even still, there was a pressure, a pre-thunderstorm