"Me," Dawn says. "Luna. Those other girls you told me about from the Reverse Harem Ladies Club. They all have that much confidence."
I raise my hands and hold my face, allowing my hair to hang down and cover my frustration. Why don't I feel enough? Why can't I find that confidence?
As Dawn squeezes my shoulders, there's a loud knock on my front door. "Are you expecting someone?" she asks.
"No."
"A delivery?"
"Nope."
"I'll go and see who it is."
She rises and disappears into the hallway, leaving me feeling as though I've been hit by a train. My heart aches so much that my body feels like it wants to slump onto the bed and never get up. There's no hope inside me that it'll ever feel any better, either.
I hear Dawn's voice and the muted sound of a man. Maybe it's a neighbor looking for a missing package. The sound of many feet on the hardwood flooring has me swiping at my face. Who's she let into the apartment when I'm feeling so low?
"Kyla."
Nash is the first to enter my bedroom, followed by his brothers, Kole and Kase, Dex and Lex, and last of all, Carl. They stand at the end of my bed, a wall of men taking in the disarray of boxes and unpacked clothes, their faces grave.
"What are you doing?" Noah asks.
I can't answer. My tongue feels desert dry and is stuck to the roof of my mouth. My cheeks heat with the embarrassment of being caught out. All the shame from the night at the club, Carl's dismissiveness and their apathy washes over me, hurting all over again. This is mortifying. All I wanted was to be able to leave without having to face them.
Too much has happened between us.
Too much that was good and too much that hurts.
"She's packing," Carl says. "She's packing up and leaving."
"What?" Kole says. "You can't be serious."
"Oh, she's serious," Dawn says from the hallway. She's too small to be seen behind the men, but she's big enough to be heard. "I keep telling her that she's making a mistake."
"She is," Kase says.
"I keep telling her that she just needs to tell you how she feels," Dawn continues. Oh my God. Is she seriously going to put me in this position?
"How does she feel?" Dex asks, turning to look at Dawn.
"She loves you," Dawn says. "She loves you all, and she doesn’t know how to tell you so she’s running away."
Dex swivels quickly, his eyes wide, fixed on me. "She loves us?"
"Yeah. All of you."
"DAWN!" I yell. "Can you just stop?"
"No," she says, "Because I love your stupid ass, and you're never going to do it for yourself. Are you seriously thinking about just walking away from these men? Look at them. Are you crazy?"
"They don't want me," I say, exasperated.
"Who the fuck told you that?" Carl says, his voice matching his angry expression.
I straighten my back, shocked at his fierceness and reeling that I don't have an answer. Nobody told me directly. It's all just feelings and sensations—a look here and a sharp tone there.
"We want you," Nash says softly. He takes a step forward and then kneels on the floor in front, his hand reaching out to cup my cheek the way he did the night of his date, before we were all together. "We all want you, Kyla. We're sorry if we didn't show you. We're sorry that you ever felt uncertain about what was going on between us."
"But…but…" I look around the room at Carl's blue eyes that today seem more like melted ice, Kole's and Kase's eyes that are like the softest clouds, and Dex and Lex, who gaze at me with warmth. I find Noah, whose mouth is turned up into its usual grin, and Niall, who winks to show me that his triplet is right.
"But nothing, Kyla," Nash says firmly. "From the moment you walked into Ink Factor, you walked into our hearts. And when Dex came up with the idea of the game, we knew we couldn't pass up the chance of being with you. It's not something we planned. We weren't looking for one woman to walk into our lives and bowl us over. We weren't looking, but you came anyway."
"But…"
"Is that all you can say? We're pledging ourselves to you. All eight of us." There are nods around the room, confirming everything that Nash is saying, and a tear escapes my eye, trickling down my cheek.
"She doesn't know how to accept it," Dawn says softly. "She doesn't know how to believe that she's enough."
"Believe it," Carl says. "Believe it and accept it." His right-hand flexes as though he imagines himself slapping my ass in chastisement, and a bubble of laughter forces its way through me.
"Believe it," Nash says softly. "We love you. We want you. We're not going to let you leave us."