Livvie arrives next with our flowers. “Sorry, I’m late.” She sets the box down on the table and pulls bouquets out while I eye her suspiciously. Her cheeks are flush, and the seam of her skirt isn’t centered. I have a feeling if I step outside, Justin will be out there, lingering.
A bit later, my mom comes in and tells us it’s time to stop gabbing and to start getting ready. I sit down, and Penny starts working on my hair while Livvie does my make-up. Lois, my mom, and Julianne sit around and chat, talking about the men and how someone needs to set Justin up with a friend. Each time someone says his name, Livvie stiffens.
When my dad comes in, with April behind him, it’s time to finally get my butt down the aisle. I stand and twirl in front of my dad. “What do you think?”
“I think,” he pauses and clears his throat. “I think you’re the second most beautiful bride I have ever laid my eyes on.”
“Hey,” I say in a teasing tone. Dad holds his hands up.
“Sorry, kiddo. No one can ever replace the vision I have of your mom on the day we got married.”
“Oh, Jensen,” my mom gushes and kisses him. Everyone, but me, ahh’s at them. I just want them to stop.
“My eyes,” I say as I cover them. My mom tells me to stop acting like a prude and then kisses my cheek.
“I love you,” she says. “You’ve got an amazing guy waiting for you at the altar.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Everyone goes with April, giving my dad and me a quiet moment together. He holds my hands and allows tears to fall. “When I look back on my life as a father, I never wanted this moment to come, but now I’m incredibly thankful you and Evan have found each other.”
“Me too, Daddy. I love him so much.”
“I know you do. What do you say we head out there? I know he’s waiting.”
“Lead the way.” I pick up my bouquet and link my arm with my dad’s. He places his hand on top of mine and looks into my eyes for a moment before we start walking out. The music changes, and April holds the tent door open for us. We walk for a bit until we get to the corner.
“Are you ready?”
I nod. “I have been for a long time.”
Dad takes a step, and we round the corner. The people we wanted to witness our day all stand. I hear murmurs as I pass by, but I’m focused on the two guys standing next to the Chaplain. My boys stand there in matching suits with EJ in front of his dad. The hems of their linen-colored pants are rolled, and they’re barefoot, bringing a smile to my face. We debated for a long time on whether they should wear shoes. I’m glad to see they listened to me.
And then my eyes land on Nate, and everything stops. I picture him up there, by the Chaplain, and I find myself looking for Evan, only he’s not here, and the people sitting in the chairs are people I don’t know. My walk toward the altar continues, and Nate reaches for my hand. I stand there, in a dress I don’t remember picking out, wondering how I got there. My heart, it beats, but not for the man in front of me. Something is missing. Deep down, I know I love Nate, but not like I love Evan. There is no comparison.
My vision clears, and my life comes into focus. Evan, with his hand on our son’s shoulder, is watching me with so much love and adoration. He’s who I’m meant to be with. When I finally reach them, I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check. I want to jump into his arms and profess my love for him, for our family. Unfortunately, there’s a time and a place for that, and it’s not while everyone is watching my every move. I sigh when the music stops, and everyone sits because this means we’re one step closer to becoming husband and wife.
“Welcome, and thank you for being here today to witness the union between Evan and Ryley. Who gives this bride to this man?”
“I do, without hesitation,” my dad says as he places my hand into Evan’s. “Good luck, son.” Everyone laughs, including me.
“Now’s your chance to run,” I whisper.
“Nah,” Evan says with a crooked smile. “I’m right where I want to be.”
The Chaplain reads from his passages. He talks about love and how there isn’t a predetermined timeline for things to happen. I glance at Livvie and then Justin. He’s staring at her, and every time she looks at him, he smiles. The Chaplain speaks about how delicate life is, how we must love wholly, and never go to bed angry at one another because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.