Hutch’s concern was clear. He offered me his support, before saying that whatever I told him was between us. Our food arrived at the perfect time, giving us an excuse to change the subject.
“We’re not gonna be able to sleep together,” Lane said as we climbed into his car to head to our parents’ house.
“We can sneak into each other’s rooms. Fuck in the bathroom…say we need to go to the store for something and find somewhere along the way to get a little action. That would be fun. Sex with a bit of danger is hot.”
“What if it’s not just the sex I’ll miss but being close to you? Or cuddling with you? You pretend you’re not, but you’re a big teddy bear, Isaac.”
He said the sweetest things. I loved it, but at the same time I also wanted to say, Ewww, feelings. “I am not. Take it back.”
Lane pulled out of the parking garage. “Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not. Cuddling is gross.”
“You like to cuddle with me.”
I did like to cuddle with him. “Liar,” I replied, reaching over and putting my hand on his thigh.
Lane sighed. “The real issue is, we can be nothing except brothers this weekend.”
He was right. We’d be reminded by everyone, by every situation, that brothers were exactly who we were to them. It would be like those moments with Kylie during our date, only on steroids, and the people who were doing it would be people we loved. “I got through years with that being the case. I can survive a three-day weekend.” The difference now was I knew what it was like to have him. It would show me what it would feel like if this didn’t work and I lost him…only again, intensified.
Lane said, “Maybe something will happen and we’ll realize we can tell them, at least Mom and Dad, and that it will be okay.”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t turn into surly, grumbly Isaac,” he teased, and that did ease some of the tightness in my chest.
“First I’m a teddy bear, and then I’m surly and grumbly? Make up your mind. I’m not liking this picture you’ve painted of me.”
“You liked the picture I painted of you on your knees with my cock in your mouth.”
Yes, yes I did. I liked that very much. “Great. Now I’m thinking about sucking your dick,” I replied, earning a laugh from him. I wished our faces weren’t blurred in those paintings. That they didn’t have to be these distorted versions of us, forever hidden.
“Maybe I’ll find a way to let you later,” Lane replied.
“That’s awfully nice of you. Look at the sacrifices you’re willing to make. You’ll let me blow you? Best. Boyfriend. Ever.”
After another round of chuckling, then a beat of silence, Lane said, “I like that.”
“Hmm? Like what?”
“When you call me your boyfriend.”
Damned if I didn’t get a stupid, sappy smile on my face. “I like it too.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Lane
My aunt Ophelia was Mom’s twin sister. They’d always been incredibly close. If her husband hadn’t been in the military, I doubt she’d have ever moved away from Mom. She’d stayed with us for three months after my dad died from a heart attack, helping us get on our feet and learn how to live without him. It was Ophelia who’d researched grief groups and found the one Mom ultimately joined and that brought Timothy and Isaac into our lives. She teased us all the time about how she was a matchmaker for Mom and how she’d scored me a great brother in the deal too.
I loved my aunt. She and I had a strong bond. Even though they lived in Florida, my uncle tried to be a father to me until Timothy came into our lives. They tried to get us to move there with them and Grandma, but Mom had said Georgia was her home, and thank God for that. If not, I wouldn’t have Isaac.
My aunt opened the door the second my foot hit the first porch step. I hadn’t expected them to be there already. “If it isn’t my two favorite nephews!” were the first words out of her mouth as she ran toward me for a big hug. What would you think if you knew I slept with him every night? That I loved him and wanted to be with him?
“Hey, Auntie O. It’s good to see you.” I gave her a tight squeeze.
She turned to Isaac next. “I know you’re Mister Cool, Calm, and Collected, but it’s been too long since I’ve seen you, so will you give your poor aunt a hug too? I missed you boys so much. I’m always bragging to everyone I know about how I have the best two nephews ever.” It was a little over the top, but that was Ophelia. She’d never met a stranger and was basically like sunshine in human form.