“Alright, stop crying,” he says, as he uses all his strength to pull me off the boy. He struggles a bit and I can attribute that to a mother’s love for her son. For not wanting to be parted from him. Even though it was my own hands that extinguished his life, I felt I needed to still keep him safe from Pater.
“Joce. A little help here. Come on,” he grunts as he gives me one hard, final yank and rips me away from the shell of Eloy.
He envelopes me in his arms and gently places a hand on the back of my head, holding me closely against his body. He’s rocking slowly in an attempt to soothe the pain he’s put me through, but nothing will ever be enough to wash this horrendous misdeed from my hands.
I’ve earned my place in Hell for this and I will gladly burn for as long as I need to purge myself of this sin.
Pater pulls me off the bed and walks us toward the door. He has to use his foot to push it all the way open because he knows that if he lets me go, I’ll attempt to take my life in any way I can.
“Vaughn!” he calls out.
I begin to cry, a brand new cascade of heartache washing over me, as I try to take some comfort in knowing that my oldest child is still alive.
“Yes Pater?” his voice calls out vacantly as he approaches us.
“Take care of that,” he says to him.
I dig my hands into his chest, crumpling his shirt between my fingers. A silent plea to spare Vaughn from having to see his own brother dead, but it will fall on deaf ears. It always does.
“E...Eloy?” Vaughn asks uncertainly, stepping into the room.
“He can’t h...hear you,” Pater mocks. “Now clean this shit up. I’ve gotta take care of your mother. Meet us downstairs when you’re done. And if you try to run,” Pater breaks off with a chuckle, “well. I’m sure you know the price now.”
I pull away from his chest and look at Vaughn through eyes hazed with tears, attempting to catch his glance, but he refuses to look at me.
I don’t blame him.
I’m supposed to be the one keeping them safe, and now he knows I’m just as dangerous as the man keeping us here as his prisoners. And that makes us all as equally responsible for the torments that will unfold next.
Chapter Nine
I’ve fallen into a world of half sleep. A place where Eloy is still alive, but the hand of Pater still keeps me awake as he gently strokes the side of my face, reminding me that the world I’m trying to surrender to is nothing more than a lie.
My head is resting comfortably on Pater’s lap and I can hear him whistling softly. It’s just another ploy to keep me awake, but I don’t want to dream. I honestly don’t want to be in a place where the life I’ve just taken stares at me with damning eyes, asking me why I betrayed him.
It’s a bit of a conundrum, really. To be in the realm of sleep where I can hold Eloy safely in my arms is more of a punishment than anything the man that helped give him life could ever dream of.
Keeping me as awake long as he possibly can helps me hold on to the thin shred of sanity I have left, but I don’t know how much more I can take of these endless games. These Tasks, as he calls them; only two have been accomplished, and I can tell there’s still so much more that needs to be done.
“Took you long enough,” he says quietly.
I don’t attempt to sit up to look at Vaughn. The whole point of him coming into the room
and seeing me in the distress I had left myself in was part of Pater’s plan. He’ll never trust me again, and I can’t fault him for that.
I’d take my own fucking life if it weren’t for Vaughn.
“Sit down,” Pater said to him, still gently stroking my hair. “I’ve got a little job for you.”
“No,” I say softly. It takes every last ounce of energy I have to push myself off Pater’s lap and sit up, but when I look into his eyes, I know that any anger I incur over what I say will be worth it. “No more games. No more tasks. No more jobs. Please, just let this be the end.”
“That’s not how this works and you know it, Joce. It’s what you signed up for and until I say it’s over, we keep going,” he says, shaking his head at me. He turns his gaze back toward Vaughn as he scratches his chin. The gaze isn’t returned; if anything, Vaughn looks like he’s already given up and would happily collapse and die if it were allowed.
“Pater,” I plead, putting a hand on his thigh. “Just me. This can all end right now with just me. I surrender to you. Let the boy go.”
A grin starts to slide over his lips. I used the words he’s been trying to get out of me for so long, and I hope that by giving myself over completely to his fucking whim that it might spare the only child we have left.
“Oh yeah?” he asks, leaning back against the cough. “And all I have to do is let the boy go?”