I didn’t see it coming, not in the beginning, the middle, or even now. Slowly, the affection deepened into something more. I admired all of his qualities, and as time passed, I became more enamored of the man he was.
Even after he hurt me, I still considered him to be a good man.
Just not the man for me.
I should take off the ring and put it in a drawer. I should sell it at a jewelry shop or return it to Maverick.
But I wasn’t ready for that yet.
Until I signed those divorce papers…I was still a DeVille.
I wondered if Maverick was drinking at a bar, trying to decide which woman he wanted to take home. Had he forgotten me so easily? Did he miss me at all? Or did he go back to his previous life as if nothing had ever happened between us?
Was he fucking someone else that very moment?
The thoughts made me cry harder.
4
Maverick
I sat at the bar with a drink in my hand. It seemed like that was all I’d been doing for the past week.
Drinking.
Winter hit Florence hard, and the streets were icy with bitter cold. Windows were constantly fogged up, and a heavy jacket was necessary even for the short walk from the car to the bar. Smooth liquor was a requirement to keep the organs warm.
Kent moved into the seat beside me. “She was hot but talked way too much.”
“You can’t think of a way to shut her up?” There was a mirror against the wall of the bar, so I could see my reflection. My tanned skin was paler than usual, and my eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. I’d been smoking too much, drinking too much. Work was pushed to the side because I couldn’t focus.
“Of course I could. But she keeps talking about her cats, and it’s just a turn-off.”
I swirled my drink. “That is weird.”
“The hot ones usually are.”
Arwen wasn’t weird. She was classy, smart, funny…the perfect woman.
Kent pivoted in his chair and studied my face. “You look like shit. Like roadkill on a summer day kind of shit.”
I took another drink. “Thanks for the compliment.”
“What’s going on with you? You’ve been out every single night this week. Where’s the wife?”
I didn’t have a wife anymore. I hadn’t submitted the divorce papers yet, but she and I were no longer together. I was a free man who could screw anyone I wanted, but I found myself sleeping alone every night. “She’s gone.”
“What do you mean?”
“As in, she left me.”
“She left you?” he asked incredulously. “I thought she had to be married to you.”
“Kamikaze is dead, so she doesn’t need me anymore.” I stared into my glass, my fingers still hugging the sides.
“I always got the impression that she liked being married to you.”
She did. In fact, she loved it.
If I were honest with myself…I did too.
Kent kept staring at me, waiting for an answer. “You aren’t going to tell me the whole story?”
“She left me. What else is there to say?”
“But why?” he pressed. “What the hell did you do? That woman is sex on legs. Why would you screw that up?”
In my eyes, I didn’t screw it up. I had every right to sleep with whomever I wanted. She did too. I just chose to exercise that right at the worst time. “We were at a party, and she basically told the entire room that she loved me…”
“So?”
I stared into my glass. “What did she expect me to do?”
“I don’t know… Did she expect you to do anything?”
No, but it was awkward. She’d changed the entire dynamic of the relationship when she dropped that bomb. We were just two people together because we had to be. We’d become friends and lovers in the process…but love was never supposed to be in the mix.
Kent leaned against the counter as he examined my face. “Maverick?”
“What?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“No. Because it’s a stupid question.”
He leaned back then turned his face toward the mirror against the bar. He drank from his glass and let the hostility subside between us.
The silence made me feel worse. The alcohol made me feel worse. Everything made me feel worse.
After a long period of tension, Kent spoke again. “I can tell this is bothering you. You’ve never been much of a talker, but I can read you pretty well. Whatever happened with Arwen is killing you inside. We both know it. I suggest you make it right.”
I pushed my empty glass to the edge of the counter and got the bartender to refill my drink. I pulled it back toward me and took a sip. A haze was constantly over my eyes, like I’d just woken up and couldn’t fully gain consciousness. I’d been exhausted since the day she left, even though I hadn’t done anything. “After she told me how she felt, I was an ass to her. I ignored her.”