“That’s not why I did it. I just wanted you to get your father back—”
“And that’s never going to happen. I know that better than anyone.” He opened the bedroom door. “Get out, Arwen.”
I sat up in bed, shocked that he wanted me to leave when I was buck naked and still sweaty.
He kept his hand on the door. “Go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“I don’t give a shit. You went behind my back a second time—”
“I was trying to help—”
“You trying to help is going to get you raped and me killed.” He grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me out of bed. “With all the shit I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me? You do realize that I would die for you, right?”
I faced him as the tears welled up in my eyes. “I’m so sorry…”
“That’s not enough. An apology is just an admission of wrongdoing.”
“That’s not what my apology means. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just trying to help you—”
“Get out.” He dropped his chin and stared at the floor, like he didn’t want to look at me a second longer.
I didn’t step into the hallway. This bedroom was my sanctuary. This man was my protector. My bedroom was all the way on the other side of the house, and that was too far. “Please let me stay with you… You’re the only reason I can sleep at night.”
With one hand on his hip, he continued to stand there and look down at the ground. His chest rose and fell with his deep breathing because he was continuing to combat the rage.
I stayed put. “I don’t want to leave you… Don’t make me go.”
Something I said must have changed his mind because he shut the door. Without looking at me, he walked back to bed. His heavy body fell on the sheets, and he lay there, his eyes on the ceiling.
I returned to bed and gave him his space. I wanted to cuddle into his side and apologize again, but I knew he didn’t want to hear it. The only reason he’d let me stay was because I practically begged.
He didn’t have the heart to kick me out when he knew I was scared.
I turned on my side and looked at him, knowing he would never meet my gaze. “I thought if I put your family back together…you would be happy.”
He was quiet. With his eyes on the ceiling and a still body, he seemed oblivious to what I said. “The only way you can put my family back together is if you bring my mother back from the dead. My father only cares about her, not the rest of us.”
It seemed that way, but I couldn’t believe that was really true.
“I’m trying to keep the promise I made to your father. But if you keep undermining me, that’s never going to happen. You say we’re a team, but you never act like it. You take matters into your own hands like you have some master plan that’s going to save us all. You’re just a stupid girl who doesn’t understand a goddamn thing. Know your place.”
Those words stung because I’d heard them before—from his father’s lips. In his anger, he was just like the man who raised him. They possessed the same heartless coldness, the same harshness. “Maverick.” I reached across the bed and rested my fingertips against his arm. “I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but something is different between us. There’s something here, a bond deeper than friendship and desire. We care about each other very much, would easily take a bullet for each other. There’s been no other man in my bed because you’re the only person that I want…and I know you feel the same way.”
“What’s your point?” he asked coldly.
“My point is…I had good intentions. It doesn’t make it right. Doesn’t make me less ill-advised. But I was trying to help you, trying to take the most diplomatic approach. I was doing it for you…because you mean everything to me. I’ll never do anything behind your back again.”
“You’ve said that before.”
“But now I really mean it. You and I…we’re a team.” I rested my hand on his and hoped he would reciprocate my affection.
But his hand lay there, lifeless.
“It’s you and I…forever.” Now, I wasn’t married to his man because I had to be. I was married to him because I wanted to be. There was no other man I could picture spending my life with. No other man could compare to what I already had. I wanted Kamikaze to be killed and Caspian to disappear. With our enemies out of the way, it could just be us…together.
When I least expected it, his fingers came to life and squeezed my hand.
And I squeezed his back.