Must be morning sickness.
I joined her in the bathroom and watched her lean over the toilet. I came up behind her and pulled her hair back so she could get some air on her face as she puked up her dinner. Naked and on the floor, she gripped the bowl and breathed through the nausea.
I felt like shit for not being there for the last six months. I should have been holding her hair back every morning. I should have been the one to set up the crib. I should have been the one who bought all the diapers. Someone carried furniture into her apartment—and that should have been me.
But I’d missed all of it.
I’d missed the doctor’s appointments. I’d missed her moments of fear and doubt.
I rubbed her back as I held her hair.
When she finished, she sat up and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “I didn’t want you to see that…”
“Baby, I’m going to watch you give birth. You think a little vomit is going to bother me?”
“It’s not sexy…”
“You carrying my baby is sexy.” I grabbed a towel and handed it to her.
She patted her forehead then wiped her mouth before she flushed the toilet. “I’ve been getting morning sickness every day since I hit three months. The doctor said it’s normal.”
I released her hair and let it blanket her shoulders. “Anything I can do for you? Need ice or anything?”
“No. I’m gonna take a shower and brush my teeth.”
I helped her stand up before I kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll make some breakfast.”
She chuckled. “I don’t have anything you like to eat. All I have is the bad stuff.”
“Then I’ll cheat for the day.” I gave her ass a playful smack before I walked out of the bathroom. I headed into the kitchen and found pancakes, bacon, and eggs. I would never eat any of those things if I had a choice, but since it was a special day, I stopped counting the carbs and fats.
I cooked everything on the stove, and by the time I finished, she joined me. With her hair and makeup done, it seemed like she was trying to mask the moment when she’d thrown up in the toilet, not that she needed to. “Wow, that smells good.”
I set the plates on the table.
“And you’re actually going to eat it…that’s a first.”
“I’ll make an exception—this one time.” I made myself a cup of coffee and sat across from her.
She dug into her food like she was starving and not the least bit nauseated. “This is good.”
I cut into my pancakes and tried not to get attached to how good it was. It was definitely better than fish and vegetables.
She picked up a slice of bacon and bit it between her teeth. The crunch was audible. She chewed it then swallowed, her eyes locked on mine the entire time.
Just last week, I was waking up still drunk from the night before. Now, I woke up sober and felt good about it. A cup of coffee was in my hand, and the woman I loved stared at me without an ounce of hatred.
The second I was reunited with her, I felt better.
Much better than I had in three months.
She finished her breakfast then absentmindedly rubbed her hand across her stomach, showing her supernatural connection to the baby. She’d been carrying it every day for six months, and there was an obvious bond between them.
A bond that I’d missed. “You did a good job with the baby’s room.”
“Thanks…”
I assumed Case and Dirk were the ones who helped her do everything, but I didn’t ask. I was ashamed it hadn’t been me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you—”
“Don’t be. I don’t blame you.” I was a complete asshole when she came to my place. I guarded my heart so fiercely that I lashed out at her to keep her at a distance. I was afraid I would get her in my bed and we’d be screwing like rabbits. “I didn’t give you any reason to tell me.”
Her eyes fell in sadness. “I just thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby since you wanted nothing to do with me.”
I nodded. “That’s a logical assumption. I’m not upset with you.”
“Really?” she asked. “I felt terrible for lying, but I didn’t want you to be with me just because I was pregnant.”
I probably would have used it as an excuse to be with her, a justification to leave the Skull Kings so I could spend the rest of my life with her. It was the exact opposite of what she’d feared, but I didn’t tell her that. “That’s not why I’m here now, and you know that.”
“Yes…I know.” She rubbed her hand across her stomach. “So, you’re really okay with being a father?”
“Absolutely.”
She stared at me with uncertainty. “Well…I’m terrified.”