“They’re planning their next move,” she said quietly, shrugging. “Since Cezary flipped, we have an easy way in now. I don’t think Dad will get away this time.”
“You don’t seem happy about that.”
Cap shook her head slowly and turned the glass around in circles. “I don’t know how I feel, if I’m being honest. I hate my dad, don’t get me wrong. He’s an abusive piece of shit and I want him to suffer for all the pain he’s caused. But he’s still my dad.”
“I know what you mean. My papa’s the same way. Not quite abusive, but distant and not very kind. I don’t wish death on him, but if I never saw him again?” I shrugged a little. “That wouldn’t be the worst thing.”
“What is it about women like us, Jules? With fathers like ours?”
“I don’t know. Maybe only a certain kind of man can control a mafia family.” I watched Carmine carefully as I spoke. A strange tingle ran down my spine. “I hope that isn’t true, but I wonder.”
Cap followed my gaze and sighed. “Carmine isn’t like your father. He’s nowhere near mine. You never knew Placido and Blaca, his mother and father, did you?”
“No, I didn’t. My papa might have, since he had connections all over for years, but I’ve been busy wasting my days in a compound in the desert, waiting for a chance like this.”
Cap touched my hand gently. “You’re here now. That’s important.”
“Thanks. I keep reminding myself.”
“Placido and Blaca though, they were good people. Placido was a hard man, but he was fair. He was rough on Carmine but he wasn’t vindictive. Placido expected Carmine to learn and to grow stronger, and Carmine flourished under his teaching. And Blaca, well, she was a shining light. I think she kept the family together, if I’m honest, and the world’s worse without her in it.”
“I wish I’d met them. They sound wonderful.”
“They are.” Cap met my eyes and held me there. “Carmine’s got them both in him. He has his father’s hard ruthlessness, but he also had his mother’s gentle light. Sometimes I worry he’ll tip too far in either direction, but a lot less ever since you came around. He seems more balanced these days.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? I’m doing that to him?”
“I think he needs someone to care about. He was adrift and angry for a long time, but having you helped a lot of that.”
“I hadn’t realized.”
“Well, you’re on the inside. It’s hard to see everything from the inside.” She took a long drink of her wine and sighed. “You’re good for him and I think he’s good for you. Do you really think you’ll stay here for a while?”
“I don’t ever want to leave, if I’m honest.”
“Can you see yourself tending bar at the Lowdown for a few years?” Cap grinned at me. “I’m sure Carmine would buy whatever you wanted, but it might be nice to have your own money.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t lose your best bartender.”
“Perfect. That’s what I was most concerned about.”
I laughed and Carmine looked over, frowning deeply. “What are you two talking about?” he asked.
“You,” I said pointedly.
“I don’t know how I feel about that.” Carmine’s eyebrows raised.
“You ever stop to think that we don’t care about how you feel about it, you selfish loon?” Cap asked, winking.
He put a hand over his heart. “You wound me.”
“Don’t be so thin-skinned. You’re a mafia Don now.”
“I am, and if you keep it up, I’ll make sure you’re sleeping with the fishes.”
“Easy,” Mal rumbled. “That’s my wife.”
“Then I’ll put concrete shoes on both of ya,” Carmine said, and Cap hit him on the shoulder, and Mal laughed, and I stood back to watch them grinning and teasing each other, and something struck me then.
Something warm and inviting.
It felt like home. Like I had a place for myself. These people, this group of friends—I’d never have their history. I couldn’t go back in time and insert myself into their little threesome.
But one day, if I was lucky, I might count myself among them. I might be as close as all of them are to each other, and if that ever happened then I think I could count my life as fulfilled. That’d be the pinnacle, everything I could possibly need.
A man, some close friends, and a future.
Their laughter died down as Mal slammed back his drink and slid his glass over to me. “Another,” he grunted, and as I poured, he looked at his wife. “We’re moving on your father soon. Carmine wants you there. I want you out of the damn country.”
“I think Carmine’s right, dear,” Cap sighed, touching his arm.
Mal looked at her like he wanted to burn down the world to keep her safe. “I don’t like it.”
“I know you don’t. But I have to be there when you get him.”