It isn’t just because of her beauty, there’s a real vulnerability to her that touches me deeply.
I hit print on all that I’ve found, and I suck back the rest of my drink. I don’t want to give up now, I feel like I’ve just peeled back one layer of the mystery here, and I want to keep going, but I’m going to drive myself mad if I carry on. I need to get some sleep at some point. I probably have enough to go on for the moment anyway. It won’t be enough to build a full case, against a guy like this. I will need everything that I have, but it’s a starting point. I want to book a new meeting with her anyway to check that she’s okay.
Since I can’t message her at this time of night without creating problems, I contact my mother instead. It will be about nine AM in Paris where she lives with Jean Claude, her new very nice boyfriend who makes her as happy as she deserves to be. Much as I miss her, I’m glad that she finally has her life.
Zane: Hi, Mom, how is it going? Sorry that it’s been a few days…
Mom: Hello, son, what are you doing being awake at this time of the night? Not working, I hope.
Zane: How are you so tuned in to the time difference? Yes, I am working actually.
Mom: You need to get your rest. Stop neglecting yourself. I’m always telling you that.
Zane: This is my charity work, Mom. It’s worth neglecting myself for.
Mom: I love to hear about you saving the world. I hope you’re looking after your client.
Zane: She’s new, so I’ve only just started working for her. But I will look after her. I always do.
Mom: I know you will, my little superhero. You make me so proud.
Zane: Not so little now! I’m coming on for thirty now, remember?
Mom: I know, I know. But you’ll always be my baby. How is everything else?
Zane: All good, thank you. Had a lot going on, but mostly work related.
Mom: It always is work with you, nonstop! Any women on the scene?
I sigh loudly, I should have known this was coming. She always wants to know about my love life, even though there hasn’t been anything to tell ever since my last serious relationship with Alison ended three years back. I’ve dated quite a bit since then but there hasn’t been anyone to tell my mom about, which I know disappoints her. I think she has this idea that if I can just settle down, she won’t have to worry about me anymore.
Zane: Not at the moment, no. I don’t need to have someone to be happy, you know?
Mom: I’m not urging you to get hitched, I just don’t want you to be lonely.
Zane: I’m too busy to be lonely. Honestly, Mom, I’m okay as things are.
Mom: So, says every workaholic…
I shouldn’t have started this. I shake my head and decide to end it before she can get too worked up.
Zane: I’m fine, Mom, you don’t have to worry about me, I promise you.
Mom: I will always worry about you, that’s my job remember? You’ll get it one day.
Zane: Alright, well if you’re so worried I’m going to be off now. Night, love you.
Mom: Love you too! Don’t leave it so long next time, I miss you, you know?
I shake my head and chuckle. Mom really will worry about me forever. I just hope that’s a maternal thing and not because she feels guilty. She’s had enough negativity in her life. I don’t want her to feel bad about anything. It’s absolutely fine. She did her best. She got out before my childhood could be ruined.
Anyway, I really do need to get some rest now. I must be sharp, I haven’t got my reputation for being tired at work, being sharp minded is everything to me. I just need to push Mom out of my brain and get rid of Nova too. If I lay around thinking about her all night, then I’m in some serious trouble…
* * *
Trying not to think about Nova turns out to be impossible. All night long and the following morning she floats through my mind, intriguing me, pulling me deeper into dangerous waters. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of her at all, but she’s stubborn and she won’t leave my thoughts no matter what I do.
I just want to see her, to know that she’s safe, I can’t help that intense urge.