“I know,” I said trying to find the words. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“I am so sick and tired of being told people are sorry,” he yelled. “You and your mother are full of ‘I’m sorry’ and it makes me sick. Maybe, if you were that sorry, you should have thought about it beforehand. This is a betrayal I cannot look past. I don’t want to see you ever again. Do whatever you want with your life.”
“Dad,” I cried out as he hung up the phone.
I stood there with the phone to my ear, like he was going to magically be on the other end. Tears flooded my eyes, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My father had disowned me, and all because I couldn’t make a smart decision from the beginning. My father was a proud man and stubborn as hell, and the thought of not having him in my life was absolutely terrifying. I looked up as my mother rounded the corner, a look of concern on her face. Before she could say a word, I turned and ran from the house, jumping in my car and speeding down the driveway.
Everything was swirling around me so fast, and I couldn’t catch my breath for even a second. When I reached the gate, I stopped the car and got out, grabbing my stomach and screaming loudly. The cold air whipped around me as tears streamed down my face. I was in complete agony, unable to even fathom what had just happened. I was alone, completely alone, and I didn’t know where to turn. I needed to go home and sit in the quiet. I didn’t want to talk to Brianna or Tanner. They would only fan the flames and tell me lies about how everything was going to be okay. I didn’t need coddling. I needed to get my life back together.
Chapter 21
Tanner
It had been a couple of days since everything had happened with Dean, and I still hadn’t been able to talk to Ava for more than a few seconds. I hadn’t spoken to Dean either, but I had a very firm reminder of why every time I looked in the mirror at the giant bruise on my face. I had deserved that and more, seeing as how I had lied to his face, helped his daughter lie, and then started sleeping with her. Everything was a giant mess, and I wished I could take a vacation away from all of it. Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Ava off my mind. Not only did I feel helpless in making everything right for her, I missed her terribly. I missed her at my house, in the office, and I missed her sweet caring smile that made my day go a hell of a lot smoother than it normally did. She had made an impact on me that was insane considering I usually didn’t let women get that close to me.
I could have demanded that she come to work, especially with the merger going full steam ahead, but I knew she didn’t need to be there on Monday. Still, it was Tuesday, and I had yet to see her, which was a bit concerning after everything that had happened. The last thing I wanted was to lose her with the company as well as my personal life. In all reality, she was an asset to every part of my world, including the company and that merger. As I walked to the front of the office I saw the doors to the elevator closing, and I ran forward, sticking my arm between the doors. As they slid back open, Ava was standing there by herself, her face pale and tired. I stood there staring at her, unsure of what even to say. There was so much to talk about, but at the same time, nothing really that would make anything better.
I stepped inside the elevator and held the button that kept the doors from closing shut. I wanted to offer something, anything, even if it was just my comfort. I knew she wa
s being standoffish toward me, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still enjoy the fact that I could comfort her at any moment. I wanted to take her in my arms and promise her everything would be okay, but I knew that would just be another lie. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t know if anything would be okay in her life any time soon. She had so much on her plate that I knew her head had to be spinning.
Her father had found everything out about us, her mother was cheating on her father, and whatever glimmer of hope we had on Friday for a normal life and an actual relationship flew out of the door before we even had time to revel in it. If I had known that things would turn out that way, even though Friday was the best time I had ever had with a woman, I would have called it all off and kept my feelings to myself. I would have done anything to protect Ava from the fallout that we really didn’t see coming.
Ava looked completely shocked as I stood there in the elevator, staring over at her. She took in a deep breath and looked at me, a mixture of sadness and defiance in her eyes. I could tell she was trying really hard to be strong, but inside, she just wanted to break down in tears. I should have given her more time off than just Monday. She was going through some really serious stuff, and I was half of the reason, if not more, that everything was going on the way it was.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” she sighed. “Everything is a mess.”
“I know,” I replied. “If there is anything I can do to help, please tell me.”
“I’m thinking of leaving the company,” she said point blank.
I stood there staring at her, blinking, unsure of what to say next. Sure, the fact that she might leave had crossed my mind, but I thought that maybe that sensibility about her career would keep her in place. Even if she was right in wanting to leave, another change in her life like that wasn’t what she needed. She needed stability in her daily life so that outside of work, she could focus on getting herself back in line, making her relationships better, and fixing everything that we had destroyed in one fell swoop. I didn’t want to fight with her, but I also was not willing to let her go without a fight. She was so important to our company and the company was important to her. I knew she was emotional, and it was never good to make decisions when you were feeling that way. She needed to wait until she could really think it through. I knew if she did that, she would see how important it was for her to stay.
“Why?”
“I betrayed my father, Tanner,” she said shaking her head. “I lied to him for weeks, and then it all came tumbling down on me. I have to repair these relationships before I don’t have either parent in my life anymore. I made some really bad decisions, and no matter how much I want a career, I’m not like you.”
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t just let my most important relationships fall to the wayside so my career stays strong,” she said quietly. “I want both a family relationship and a career, and I’m not sure I can do that with your company, especially since it is going to be a sore spot for my father for a very long time.”
“Just because I made the choice to cut everything out of my life and just focus on my career, doesn’t mean everyone that works for me has to be that way,” I said. “You are very important to me and this company, and I will do anything I can to make sure you have the ability to have everything you want in your life. You can have a family and a career at the same time. You’re versatile like that. When I was coming up, I didn’t have anyone to show me that, and the woman I was married to was only interested in my money. It scared me away from everything, like I’m afraid your mother has scared your father away. It’s a lonely life that I chose, but it is not the only choice. I know that now.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, looking down.
“You don’t have to decide now,” I said. “In fact, I implore you to not make a decision right now, especially with emotions so heightened. Take the rest of the week off. Relax, take in a deep breath, talk to your best friend, do whatever you need to do to start correcting the mess that we made, and then, when you have a better grasp on everything you want and what it will take to get there, then make your decision.”
“None of this is easy,” she groaned. “I just want to crawl into a cave.”
“That won’t do you any good either.” I smiled. “Just take my offer, please. Give yourself some time. Don’t make any decisions now.”
I stood there staring at this beautiful woman in front of me, wanting so badly to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She needed someone to be there for her, but with the current situation, it couldn’t be me, no matter how much I wanted it to be. I needed to give her space, let her breathe, and then later, when things had settled, I could come forward and embrace her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for my part in all of these things. It was so easy to say yes, not thinking about the fact that though I had nothing really to lose, she had everything to lose. I didn’t think about her feelings or her life until it was too late to do anything about it. She deserved so much better than that.
“Please,” I said, stepping forward and reaching for her hand. “Take the week. Think about everything, don’t make a decision about your future just yet.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding her head and smiling before pulling her hand away slowly.