“Well, that had to feel good.” She encouraged.
“You’d think so. Truthfully, I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Everything is all tied up in knots.”
“I’m going to go out on a limb here, Tilly and say something you might want to punch me for.”
“What is it?” I shuffled to my front door, pulled it open and stepped out on my porch to sit in the swing and prop my feet up along the railing.
“Do you have feelings for Lucas?”
I nearly choked.
"The only reason I'm asking is that he's the only guy you've ever had any real experience with. I don't think you can count losing your virginity to Todd Fetcho junior year. That was more like an accident than an experience."
“Talk about a name I haven’t heard for some time.” I clicked my tongue.
“Don’t change the subject. Is there anything about Lucas that you do like? Besides the backseats of his cars.”
“Ouch.” I pouted.
“I’m sorry.” Sandy continued. “I’m teasing you. But seriously. What is it about him that pulls you to him?”
“I don’t think anything pulled me to him tonight. I told you I really told him off for good.” I stated proudly.
“I believe you. But you haven’t seen him in a couple years.” Sandy’s voice was soft and I could tell she was trying to be kind. “You could have just walked past him and said nothing. I saw Shelly Pinkowski at a WalMart once. Sure, I would have loved to go up and punch her in the face. But when she waved at me I just looked at her like she was crazy and walked away. It was just as satisfying and yet I kept it classy. Do you see what I mean? So, let me ask you. Did you have to talk to him or did you feel pulled in by something?”
I couldn’t believe it. The words sixty seconds just clanged through my head.
"Lucas asked for sixty seconds to explain," I answered meekly.
“And you gave it to him?”
“Yup.”
“I’m not saying you’re a bad person, Tilly. On the contrary, I think you are a great person. You are the complete opposite of Lucas Prine. I think that might be why there is this connection between the two of you. He’s probably too stupid to realize it. And you…”
“What?”
“You are too stubborn.”
I knew she was right but the words stung.
"So you didn't get to see the triple-nipple?" She asked sadly.
"Thank goodness, no."
Sandy and I chatted a little longer. When we finally hung up my head was swimming. It might have been the wine. It was a fantastic fall evening. The sun was already deep on the horizon, the stars were out and the smell of someone having a bonfire or burning wood in their fireplace filled my nose. I had placed a couple of pumpkins on the porch. Their orange color popped against the white steps and banister.
"I did have feelings for him," I mumbled. "But he made it clear that was not important to him. I wasn't good enough for him back then. He's not good enough for me now."
I finished my glass of wine and just as I stood from my swing and was about to go inside an all too familiar vehicle slowly drove past my house.
“I don’t believe this.” Any compassion or hope that I had suddenly started to feel vanished. I was angry. “Hey!” I shouted as I stomped down the porch steps to the edge of my gravel driveway. The car hit the brakes. The red taillights lit up the street and I heard the gears shift into park. The driver’s side door opened and Lucas stepped out.
“This is just great.” I spat. “What the hell? How did you find my house?”
“Look. I know you’re mad. I don’t blame you. But that guy you left at Felix’s was pretty pissed.”
“So. And how would you know?”