“Mom, that isn’t how it works.” I roll my eyes as the only way that I can silently express my irritation. “I just don’t want any of that at the moment. I’m quite happy as I am.”
“How will I have grandchildren? Hmm? Time is running out.”
“Mom, I’m only thirty-one years of age. It isn’t like my biological clock is ticking.”
“You’re being selfish.” I can almost hear her shaking her head. “I don’t understand why. You want kids, I know you do, and I would like some around when I am still young enough to look after them.”
I need to end this call and I have to do it now before I end up saying something that I regret. “Mom, I have to get in the car now. I have meetings all day long and I can’t be late.”
She tuts again. “Alright fine, if you don’t have any time for your mother.”
“Mom, it isn’t like that and you know it.” She does. The guilt trip is just one of her silly little games. “I’ll call you on the weekend when I have a bit more time, okay?”
“Alright, well make sure that you do.”
“I will, Mom. Love you.”
“Love you too, Carter. Speak soon.”
“Bye.”
As I hang up the phone, I shake my head in bemusement. She is crazy, absolutely ridiculous. I know that she thinks she is doing her best for me, but I really am fine. If she would just stop focusing on her view of what my life is like and just see how happy I am, she would be fine. I really do have everything that I want. I love my job, I live for my business, I have it all. I have friends, love in other ways, people I care about.
The next time I do let someone in, if I ever get that far which I’m not totally convinced that I will, I will trust them. The only problem is as I have already proven, my judgement isn’t the best and cannot necessarily be trusted, so I don’t know how my barriers will come down.
Maybe they don’t need to. Perhaps, despite what everyone else says to me, I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.
2
Raelyn
I look at the numbers, my heart skipping excitedly. This is good news, really good. I have crept into a market which already had a really good leader with Lace Enterprises, and I’ve taken a good chunk of the market share. For a small business that’s fantastic news, I’m really proud of myself.
“Our computer parts are better than those at Lace Enterprises”, I discuss with Leon, my production manager, “and we produce them at a cheaper price as well which means we can sell them cheaper too.”
“I agree,” Leon says happily. “Soon, we will take even more from them. We’re kicking ass.”
“Well, that’s the issue, isn’t it?” I rub my chin thoughtfully. “Lace Enterprises has more financial security than us, and a much bigger infrastructure. We are limited which means we can only progress so far.”
“That’s okay… isn’t it?” Leon asks carefully, as if he isn’t sure how I will react.
“Not really. I want it all. I want to take them down if possible. We will get to a certain point and we’ll have to stop, won’t we? Then Lace Enterprises will be able to turn things around and claim it all back. I don’t want anyone stealing anything from R. Owens Parts. We deserve it all.”
I can’t help it; my competitive personality always overshadows everything else. I always want to win. I can’t stop myself from aiming higher and higher, looking for the next goal. I’m never satisfied. That is something that started in school, I always wanted to be at the top of the class so I would work to make sure that happened. And it did. Of course it did, I wasn’t going to rest until it happened. I sacrificed willingly. I didn’t socialize much or go to parties, and I didn’t even care. I had my goal in mind and I was going for it no matter what.
I smile widely at Leon, trying to put him at ease, but he’s worked for me for two years now. He knows what I’m like. When I get a bee in my bonnet, nothing will hold me back. And that’s exactly what’s happened right now. I know what I want, I want to be the best of the best and I need to figure out how.
“Raelyn, you have me worried,” he admits. “You’re up to something and I’m scared.”
I laugh loudly, tilting my head back as I do. “You know me too well, Leon.”
“Are you going to change everything around? Am I going to have to change my job up?”
I nod and smirk. “I don’t have a solid plan in mind right now, but I will figure it out.”
“Oh God.” He groans and claps his palm to his forehead. “Yo
u know I don’t like change.”